Be strong and courageous

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We place emphasis on what we say through repetition.  Therefore, whenever you hear somebody saying something over and over again, take note.

When this repetition is in the bible, then one’s levels of caution should soar to unparalleled heights. Examples of this abound, take Song of Songs 2:7 for instance, “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field; Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” The exact replica is found in Songs of Songs 3:5, the same verse appears in chapter 8, verse 4 minus ‘by the gazelles and does of the field.” Error? I doubt it. In modern society today, how many times have ladies given their love promptly only to have their hearts broken? Too many to even count!!!Any surprise then that the wise king is repeating this verse? Surely not.

King Solomon is at it again in Proverbs 21;9 with this caution, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” The same verse, word for word, makes up Proverbs 25:24. When you consider that he had many wives and concubines, and that it was women who were his downfall, then you really get why he repeats this.

Solomon wasn’t the only one who repeated words, God did and he had to because of how quickly Israel forgot or lost faith in him. “Do not fear.” That appears more than 300 times in scripture.  It’s a big emphasis bearing in mind that it is often our fears that hold us back and prevent us from truly living the God he desires for us.

One though stands out more than others in the book of Deuteronomy.God says it, Moses says it too and Joshua would later speak those same words which were, “Be strong and courageous.”

I believe those words are being spoken to men today repetitively begging for a response. Being male is natural, but being a man is super-natural because it takes strength and courage. I don’t mean the biceps kind of strength but the strength to persevere, to hold firm amidst adversity, to be true to oneself. The courage to overcome opposition from all quarters, yourself included.

Man, be strong and courageous to take the initiative, to engage in a difficult activity, to reject passivity and act. Adam was passive when Eve was being tempted and look where it got us. Many men are passive to this very day with women and children suffering as a result. Don’t be one of them. Take the initiative and engage in that difficult thing that needs to be done. Act on your conviction; don’t wait for someone else to take initiative for you.

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Take the initiative by being decisive. Make decisions promptly, beforehand, don’t wait till things spiral out of all control to decide what to do, by then it could be too late.

Man, quit stalling and take the initiative in relationships with women. Ask her out if you’re interested; don’t play mind games, hizo wachia Mourinho. If words fail you, take courage from these guys’ attempts and have lived to tell the story.

” Hey I was looking in the book of numbers and I saw that I didn’t have yours.”

“My name’s Destiny. I have faith that God has chosen you to be my destiny”

“Hi I’m Will...God’s will for you.”

I wish to state that never in my right mind would I attempt any of this, I admit though some are downright hilarious .For these and more click here, if these guys can pull it off and live to tell the story, what should stop us who do it normally? What’s the worst that could happen, just her saying no? Whoever died from rejection even those final fantasy movies couldn’t engineer a death like that no matter how hard they tried. Man be strong and courageous and take initiative in dating or courtship.

Conversely, take initiative by being strong and courageous to admit to a lady that you are in the season of singlehood. Don’t lead a lady on to nowhere, if you aren’t ready for a relationship.  Why give the impression that there is a future when there is none? If a lady shows an interest in you, don’t be passive by saying nothing. Silence won’t end her persistence. Take the initiative and politely tell her you aren’t ready for a relationship.  Some of these calls to Maina and King’ang’i would be stopped if some men could just put their foot down and said, “No.” There’s a time for everything, a time to be in a relationship and a time to be single, when it’s the latter, take the initiative and communicate this clearly to the lady, don’t waste her time.

Man, be strong and courageous to take responsibility for your actions. Work diligently to be a provider not only of material things but a vision for the future. Be the selfless leader of integrity. Be the example or the model for others to follow, coach others through your own experiences in life. Be the dependable and trustworthy man to your work mates, family and friends.

Once in a while, you won’t always do what is expected of you. Don’t play the blame game, if you mess up, own up. Don’t hide in lies or point the finger to everyone but yourself. Nobody is infallible.  Accept you mistake, confess it, rectify it however painful and move on.

Man, be strong and courageous to admit pain or hurting. We are not invincible, Arsenal eventually lost to Manutd after 49 games not out and so will Gor Mahia, it’s just life. We lose, we stumble, we bleed, we cry, it’s ok to be vulnerable once in a while. The loss of a father, mother, brother, sister, friend or anybody else close can be painful. It’s ok to shed a tear.  As we fight in this battle of life, it is inevitable that we will sustain wounds and not just the ones of death. A failed exam, a business deal collapsed, rejection by the lady whom you fancy, betrayal from a close friend, diagnosis of a terminal illness, they come in all shapes and sizes.

It’s funny how words may seem to be the smallest but strike a massive blow to our confidence. We may hurt so bad because of what people say to us or about us. Our self-esteem nosedives to depths even Chelsea hasn’t reached and we become a shadow of our former selves. You just have to look at the way some men seek affirmation in all the wrong places to massage that bruised ego.

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Some seek it in prostitutes or numerous casual flings. Others find it in a gang or a group of friends who give them that sense of identity they have never had. They are loyal to the group even if the group engages in wrongdoing. Some men try to mask the pain through alcohol, drugs, gambling. Others just lose the will to fight and easily surrender to the slightest adversity or opposition.

Man, be strong and courageous and deal with your wounds. Have the strength to move on from a loss of a loved one through the support of others and God.  Admit your hurts and confess them, it’s a starting point, hiding them or living in denial will only suppress them for a while. Let go of the hurt of a failed relationship and forgive, free yourself and the other person, if possible seek reconciliation, would you rather be right, bitter and alone or be restored and at peace because you chose to let go of the right to feel aggrieved.

Be strong and courageous in the face of adversity or a sudden downturn in your fortunes. It isn’t always the end of the world. It’s a marvel how tough situations bring out the best in people. Be courageous to put on a brave face and keep on persisting, your life of persistence may become a testimony of hope and inspiration to others in a similar struggle.

Man, be strong and courageous to lead. Whether it’s your class, workmates, family, lead well. Be strong and courageous to sacrifice privileges for the sake of those you are leading. Have the strength of mind and heart to put your followers’ needs above those of your own.  It’s not about you but them. Be strong and courageous to fight the temptation to use your position to enrich yourself, instead, enrich your followers at your own cost.

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Be strong and courageous and break free from the Rat race. Life is more than just getting a bigger pay-cheque, accumulating possessions and living as per people’s definition of success. Be strong and courageous to pursue what you are called to do even if instant riches aren’t forthcoming. Be strong and courageous to do what you are passionate about, to fill a gap or address a gnawing need that will impact the community and then you will leave your mark on this world with others eager to follow in your footsteps.

Man, be strong and courageous to love. You would think that would come naturally but it doesn’t. Be strong and courageous to be faithful to your lady and say no to a lady when you know she is not right for you or you are not right for her. Be strong to remain chaste for your future wife, that’s a far better gift than a Samantha bridal wedding. All around you may be goaded to sex by constant displays of cleavage, thighs and yet another socialite flaunting their derriere, may you resolve to be sexually pure at all costs even if it means ditching TV , your tablet or simply just run.

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Determine what you desire in a lady beyond just looks and establish clearly thought out boundaries when it comes to a relationship. Virginity, monogamy are not impossible standards, you do not have to feed your eyes, your mind and sexual organ through ogling, porn, masturbation or sex. You’re a man, not an animal, muster self control when need be. Be strong and courageous and resolve to be the man who takes the fight to lust and loves his woman for who she is not just what she looks like.

Be strong and courageous to love not only a lady but a male friend as well. David and Jonathan didn’t have a bromance, but a deep friendship that every man should have. It takes a lot of strength to forge such a friendship because you need to be candid, open, share similar values to connect. Man, be strong to share your vulnerable spirit as well. Confess your shortcomings or hurts to a friend because friendship is not about sharing happy moments but difficult ones as well. Life is never meant to be lived alone, you need a friend.

Be strong and courageous when it comes to money.  Be strong and fight the urge to live in opulence, in the end extravagance only impoverishes.  Sometimes broke-ness hits you hard. You may not be able to take a lady out, ride a matatu home or even just buy a smokie because the pocket has simply refused. Don’t keep on borrowing or gambling, you will only enlargen your cycle of debt rather than get out of it. Be strong and courageous to accept your humble position, work hard to get out of it and then use your money prudently when you get it. Live within your means, save and invest, otherwise your pocket will keep on refusing.

Be strong and courageous to fight for your values and integrity. We live in a society that tends to glorify impunity and mock the few people who dare to be upright, yet incredulously complain about corruption. Be courageous to defend your values, practise them even when the majority want the easy way out of compromise. Be the one man of integrity, with the high standards who believes in honesty, discipline, temperance and other virtues. Do right even when you’re the only one doing it.  Society is crying out for men of integrity, be strong and courageous to answer that cry.

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Be strong and courageous, because before you, there was a man who was. His name was Jesus and he was strong and courageous to go 40 days and nights without food and still resist temptation. He was strong and courageous enough to criticize hypocritical spiritual leaders. He was strong and courageous to pursue his Godly calling that did not earn him riches galore but a led to suffering, excruciating pain and ultimately death on a cross so that you may be reconciled to God and receive the gift of eternal life if you believe him and surrender your life to him.

Man, be strong and courageous and chose him, because through him it’s much easier being a strong and courageous man. When you do, be strong and courageous to tell others about him so that through him, more will be strong and courageous.

Man, be strong and courageous.

Jesus died for the LGBT by the way

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Gay. Fag. Queer. Bi. Transgender. I hate to admit it but it’s becoming the norm these days. I mean the norm. Only recently I accepted an invitation to connect from a random guy on Linkedin thinking he would be a potential business partner. A  few days later it did turn out that he wanted to be my business partner only that he wanted to do business in bed!!! To say I was shocked is an understatement. Never have I reached for the un-friend button so fast!!! The guy was out of my list of connections before you could say, “Gerrahere!!!”  

Such is the world we live in now days. More people are experimenting on matters sexual orientation, more are coming out, and even more are becoming receptive to it. Bruce became Caitlyn and was celebrated for it. The US had all its states legalize same-sex marriages. All the while, the Christian, insert you and me, shakes his head in disbelief asking, “Where is the world heading to?”

For so long, homosexuality and questions to do with sexual orientation were swept under the rug. It was all hush, hush like those monkey emojis, see no evil, hear no evil and speak no- evil. The LGBT movement gradually altered the way we perceive them, they have clamored for their rights and now the result is more people are tolerant of them having been swayed.

Christians now realize they can no-longer be passive. They must speak out against this deviation from God’s purpose for sexuality or marriage. It is frowned upon in scripture!!! How can we just start saying yes to sin in the form of same-sex unions? Too bad, we have been too quick to judge and condemn before listening and understanding.

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For one, homosexuality , in the minds of many believers seems to rank head and shoulders above other sins.  This shouldn’t be so. Any sin, is detestable to God. The LGBT complain of being judged harshly. In some way they are right. Not too long ago, somebody desired that gays should be stoned. I wish we treated people who committed other offences with a similar gusto. The one who murders should be stoned, the one who rapes as well, and not forgetting the guy who has stolen millions too!!!

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Why should the harsh punishment or condemnation be the preserve of the person of different orientation?  “ Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.” I don’t know who said it but I sure believe it. Just because I struggle with lying doesn’t make me better than a brother or sister who is engaging in same-sex activities . When either of us fall to temptation both of us are sinful before God, on equal terms. My sin isn’t less bad to God, the bottom line is that we both have fallen short of God’s standard.

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The other area we faltered is our perception of the LGBT. Early on, homosexuality was viewed solely as an act. Therefore, it could be discouraged upon, it could be prohibited by the law. Overtime though, it has changed to be a condition, something you are born with. That has swung the pendulum the way of the LGBT because you can fault  or victimize somebody for who they are. From a condition it has now become an identity that marks somebody as who they are. This is where we have erred big time.

A gay man isn’t just a gay man. There is more to him than his orientation. It’s sad that we reduce people to this basic view and can go to crazy measures like jailing them or shaming them by publishing a list of gays. Sexual orientation doesn’t make anyone less of a human being. Defining a person by just what they do is limiting. He is gay. She is a lesbian. Period. That’s really not respecting their dignity. Their self-worth is more. They have gifts, temperaments, abilities, skills just to name but a few because so much makes up the human person  Just to think of them in terms of their sexual orientation is very limiting. Imagine if we just defined some people by how they behave.

Francis Atwoli would be a shouter?! Sir Alex Ferguson would be a gum-chewer?!!! Arsene-Wenger would be a bottle-kicker!!! Really, is that all they are? They is more to them and so is the person with a different sexual orientation, one isn’t just gay or bi, it's what they do, they are more than that and let’s respect and love that person for who they are. A human being made in God’s image and potentially or actually, a child of God regardless of their sin. Jesus showed us how.

When confronted by a crowd to stone an immoral woman, Jesus didn’t do what we would have done. He didn’t bay for her blood. He didn’t condemn her , he didn’t call her slut or ratchet. Even despite the fact that his sinless life gave him authority to reprimand her, he didn’t . Instead he mercifully withheld stoning her and graciously told her to stop sinning in a way where she didn't feel degraded. This is the classic example of ' hating the sin but loving the sinner." 

God loves the gay, transgender, queer, straight that same way. Yes, you heard me, he does.  It is a message as a Christian I don’t send because I am too quick trying to correct their ‘deformity. Its the central message that goes unsent because I am too busy shoving anti-homosexuality scripture and acting all pharisaical, reminding someone of their sin but doing precious little to help them get out of it.(Matthew 23:4) Giving someone truth without love is cruelty and very rarely is that approach going to turn a person to repentance.

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With the immoral woman, the Samaritan woman, Jesus helped them to get them out of the sin because he illustrated what God was all about, A God loves the sinner no matter how far he/she has drifted away from him. Moreover, he takes the initiative to get us out of the sin.

It isn’t always an instant 360 degree turn to righteousness for everybody.  They are Christians who struggle with alcohol, pornography, integrity, and they are men and women who also struggle with same sex attraction. This is a struggle they have for years. Accepting Christ doesn’t mean that these struggles vanish in an instant. For some it takes time before they can resist with ease. For others the struggle is real  till the grave. Jesus sanctifies ALL of them and helps them with their struggle daily. Jesus died for all sins not a select few. The only unforgivable sin is rejecting his gift of salvation.

A lesson I've got to learn recently is that and most applies to LGBT is that it's ok to be tempted. Temptation, in itself,  is not sinful. It’s normal to have a struggle with sin, our sinful nature ensures that we will struggle with sin. What we must remember is that accepting Christ into our lives gives a spirit not of the world to give into that temptation(which then becomes sinful) but one that pursues righteousness no matter how hard.  He gives us a spirit to help us keep us trying even when we stumble from time to time..

With reference to Isaiah 40: 29-31, God increase the power of the weak and gives strength to the weary. Fighting temptation and sometimes falling short because of our weaknesses can really tire us as believers. It can make us sink into despair and allow ourselves to wallow in sin because we feel we will never match up to God’s standard. Fortunately, Jesus died on the cross for that very same reason, that we may have hope and not despair. He gave us his spirit to help us, to give us strength and power,  power to overcome those struggles like same sex attraction and the grace to pursue celibacy. He gives us power to relent even when we stumble. His grace is sufficient for all, not just people in financial need but also people struggling with same sex attraction.

They are wonderful stories of Sy Rogers, who overcame this struggle and went from gay to looking for a sex change to being straight and eventually married with kids. They are stories of Henry Nouwen, a Dutch priest who struggled with same sex attraction but is believed to have remained celibate to death. These stories may not be the same all for LGBT but they do have the same element in them. In both, Jesus was saviour, Jesus was Lord, Jesus helped them overcome because they had a love relationship with him.   The cross is for LGBT as well, struggling with same-sex desires doesn’t condemn one to hell, forsaking Jesus does,

As human beings, by our sinful nature, we fall short of God’s standard. More so, when we ascribe to the belief that truth is relative and consequently err in so many ways because we have deviated from the truth. This is stated in Proverbs 14:12 when it reads, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” 1 Corinthians 6:12-13 puts it even more clearly, " I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body".

Sounds familiar doesn't it? "I have a right to have fun, I have a right to drink, I have a right to sleep around and now it's I have a right to gay marriage." We hate it when anyone places restrictions upon either of those freedoms but they are necessary some times because such freedom isn't always beneficial. Your right to have fun could end up getting you addicted to a drug, leading to death. Your right to casually sleep around could lead to an STD. Similarly, a right to gay marriage spells doom for the family unit. How do children grow up in such a family setting where there are  two parents but either no dad or mum? It isn't beneficial for them, you just have to look around at grown men being overly aggressive or violent because they lacked a father or of ladies who feel inadequate or unloved because they lacked a mother. The same-sex marriage isn't ideal, not because we want to bash the LGBT parade but because the family is at stake if such a marriage is permitted.

The LGBT may feel that they are being denied a right they are entitled to or that they are being judged harshly but they are not the only ones. The unmarried are strongly urged not to engage in sex. Divorced are urged not to remarry. The limitation to sexual freedom isn't just to the LGBT but other people as well. God's purpose for sex was in the context of marriage, between opposite sexes. It wasn't for pleasure as many men and women believe these days but it was to be an expression of love, free of the guilt trips of pre-marital sex but with the aim of fruitfulness leading to a family that could be nurtured in a loving environment.

A lot of people have wandered away from this path, I know.Fortunately God is able to turn you away from that deviation and back to him if you let him. It is illustrated best in the story of the prodigal son in  Luke 15:11-32. The son may have drifted but his father welcomed him back with love when he came back. The lesson from that parable is that when we wander away from God, we are not deemed banished outcasts, straight, gay, if you go back to him, he will welcome you back.

I no-longer judge the LGBT casually, I realize that for a vast majority of them, they have been victims of circumstances and their life experiences have tilted them towards same-sex living just like some experiences have tilted people to a life of crime, violence or immorality.

For some perhaps it was an abusive parent,  for others it could have been childhood sexual abuse, the loss of a loved one, peer pressure, masturbation, pornography e.t.c. Brokenness may have led one to become queer or gay. The starting point then is not trying to correct their sexual orientation but to address those wounds of old and thankfully we serve a God who is a healer who does exactly that, as it is written, “He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalms 147:3)

Its not an easy life for anyone who is Pro-LGBT, your family could disown you, you could be ostracized. The saving grace is that if your struggle is same-sex attraction, I can point you to Jesus.  He will welcome if you sincerely believe and confess that without him, eternal life and more specifically, sexual purity, is impossible without him.  He will help you with your struggle, as I believe he said in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.”

The means justifies the end

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Not too long ago, Lupita Nyongo achieved a feat that is unlikely to be matched by any other Kenyan, she won an Oscar for her sterling portrayal as Patsey in 12 years a slave. It was a defining moment for the actress that put her on the map as well as the 254. For weeks on end, her name was on everyone’s lips, as she became the darling of the nation.

Lupita's life was transformed. Away from all the glitz and glamour that comes with a successful film, movies, whether good or bad have something else in common. They all involve hard work with long hours at the set, numerous cut-scenes, and bloopers galore featuring countless forgotten lines which sometimes are viewed after the credits have rolled.

The behind the scenes footage offers remarkable insights to the efforts taken in coming up with a splendid motion picture. Often, viewers preoccupy themselves with the movie rather than what goes on behind the scenes. It is the same way people perceive success. The focus is on the final product or state, the wealth, the job title or the happy marriage, the awards but few cherish the means by which it took those successful people there. It as if many believe those successful were teleported to where they are forgetting the path they took wasn't a walk in the park.

The Oscar winners will always make reference to the hard work the team put in. They appreciate the hard work they put in, the obstacles they had to overcome in reaching there. When they stand on the podium, receiving the plaudits they take a trip down memory lane and  take pride in the epic journey that got them there no matter how tough it was.

Wouldn’t it be great if we viewed life that way? Rather than yearn for the final result or complain how people have got it better, savour the adventure or challenges that come your way in anticipation of the beautiful story of triumph to be narrated  thereafter. Prosperity gospels have reduced God to just a giver. They give believers the idea that success is the evidence of God’s love, adversity and suffering is the devil's. I believe that God permits us to go through difficult moments just like He did to Job so that we can turn to him , experience his faithfulness and have a testimony of his provident nature after the dust has settled.

I doubt God wants our lives to be a like a 100m dash. Do it all in an instant and have the Kodak moments soon after.  People live at a frenetic pace, eager to hit the milestones as quickly as possible. Get the job, get the house, get the car, get the spouse, and get the children. Get, get, and get within the quickest time possible.

It leads to downplaying the significance of God's blessings like life, a loving family, health, friends. It takes away that happiness and only gives pressure. It robs one of identifying God’s unique purpose for them  leading to  costly mistakes concerning their career, choice of spouse, and their lifestyle just to fit others definition of success.

My thinking is that God desired that we live life as a steeplechase. I don’t say this because I am Kenyan and would like to join Ezekiel Kemboi, in that celebratory jig at the end but because life is not too different from that long race. It is a race of endurance that demands you to constantly work hard even if fatigue seems to be setting in and the finish line seems so far away.

It is a race of pace-setters, people who start early at a blistering pace but don’t always finish first or finish well. Then they are those who start off poorly but just hang in there, and produce that final kick that has them basking in success and everybody forgets their poor start.

Don’t forget the hurdles and the water jumps. In life, moments of adversity, affliction are always around the corner. David had his when he faced Goliath or was being chased by Saul. Paul had plenty more as he was stoned, shipwrecked and bitten by a viper. Peter was imprisoned. The thing about this hurdles is that they were meant to be jumped over, they are not dead ends and with God’s help, strength these men overcame  and so do many other men and women today who have overcome physical disability, rejections, doubt, financial difficulties and much more to finish well.

The hurdles and the water serve as reminders of God’s faithfulness in desperate times. They illustrate how God stays close by when all around people distance themselves from you. They depict God’s strength when your tank is running on empty. God reveals himself during these moments for you to have faith so that when the next hurdle comes you can clear it because of what he has done before.

It’s not uncommon for people to gripe and whine during those lean times. It’s natural to want them to end as soon as possible. At these times we usually grapple with doubt trying to figure out why. Why the difficulty, pain, or strife ? When will it all go away?  It may seem that God is silent or distant. It may seem the suffering is unmerited and never ending. No matter how difficult the situation is I look around and really don’t see much difference between us and Sodom and Gomorrah. I don’t see much between us and people of Noah’s time. I say this because as much as people complain about lean times, I look back at these people of Sodom and wonder if God destroyed them, why are we alive? Are we not worse? God really should have destroyed us by now but the reason I live and so many others do is because of Jesus. The reason I am alive griping through this tough times is because there is a God who came down to earth and died for my sin so that I can live, if he hadn't, I really wouldn't be here.

For that I am thankful because I realize I have no right to be here in the first place, Jesus granted me that chance. That gives me peace of mind during the difficult times. That makes me understand that to experience gain you must know loss, to be happy you must first be sad and to succeed you must first know failure.

It’s a strange way of seeing things, of appreciating the difficult means to justify a glorious end. It isn't always about hitting the targets at lightning speed but going through periods of lack, dryness, or lean times. 

That doesn't mean I am cursed but that God trusts me to let me go through adversity because He knows that I can overcome. I take that and with the Holy Spirit within me, respond with relish. Maybe it's the loss of a loved one, a failed relationship, an addiction, limited resources, a jail sentence that stalls your progress, overcoming is still possible.Like those many success stories, I would love to look back at a journey that was not all smooth sailing but one filled with obstacles surmounted thanks to God's faithfulness.

It is just a race of hurdles, and water jumps. God is all powerful, so then if he placed me in that race, can he not give me the power I need to soar over those hurdles and finish it? Surely he can, so I will bid my time, work hard and trust him to enable me to clear the hurdles, after which, like Lupita, Kemboi or Yego, look back at that journey, beaming with pride saying, " God, thank you for getting me through this!"

The original saying, the end justifies the means is more prevalent, especially in our Nation. People resort to hook and crook to get ahead, cheating in exams, skewed tenders and bribes are the norm, sadly. With God, it is usually the means that justifies the end. It is when a good course of action is taken even when all around people are pressing you to ignore it or give up. It is moments like this which require faith, faith that will be manifested in persistent action that few will make sense of. The result is that it will yield a beautiful end that will bring God glory and make you look back saying, " It was worth it."

Free from the Friend-zone!!!

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Our world is vast and beautiful, with over thousands of places to see, we are spoilt for choice. It comes as no surprise that travelling is a hobby for many with dozens of travel adventures being the norm on Instagram.  Yet, in almost equal measure, there exist places we shudder to set foot in. They are no-go zones, places that shouldn’t be visited even if it is just down memory lane. One trumps them all, many men attest to that fact. Take a bow, the friend-zone.

Many a man or lady has suffered the ignominy of being banished to the dreaded friend-zone. CNN had it wrong, this is the true hotbed of terror!!!  It is sad that no-one issues a travel advisory against this place.

Unlike a verdict issued by an impartial jury, confinement to the friend-zone catches many by surprise. It is a fate few are willing to accept. Most swear that they don’t deserve to be there. They will examine themselves, weigh the pros and cons(mostly pros) of their personality and wonder how the object of their affection could not see the big, larger than life picture in them.

It beggars belief that someone else, whom you think is wrong in so many ways, is instead lavished with the same affection you so desperately crave. It gets worse. The aforementioned recipients of that love will then go on to yank the heart of your desired lover as you watch helplessly from the friend-zone. They will then crush it to pieces without a care in the world and leave your dream lover high and dry. You would think that such a chastening experience would mark the end of your jail time. You poor thing, astonishingly they will chase after their tormentors in chief, keen to give them a second chance to break their heart once more.  Not to worry though, you also get a second chance, a second chance to gaze at those gloomy walls of the friend-zone, at which point will start to look like your permanent dwelling place. You might as well get a sofa, 'utahama lini?' doesn't apply to you, you are in the friend-zone for the long haul!

How unfair, to be locked up in a place you scarcely deserve. I used to think I had it bad then I realized that Jesus has it worse. He has been friend-zoned big time. The Lord of Lords, Prince of Peace,comforter, present hope, provider, ..the numerous titles and  qualities give Mr Right a new meaning, he is the God perfect . He is the undisputed lover of our souls. He paid everything for the Ruracio by living the sinless life that we could never hope to live. He paid the dowry 3,4, 100,..a billion times over by giving himself on the cross in our stead that we may have life. That's just a rough estimate. You’d think we would show him gratitude and love him back in return, but no, friend-zone.

He is given only a fraction of our affection, while He watches from the friend-zone as we give undeserved affection to our money, careers,  status, sex or anything else we idolize. He has to watch from the sidelines of the friend-zone as we give into the temptations of our evil desires, the world and the devil and see us getting our hearts shattered countless times. He longs to give us lasting gifts, but all we yearn for is temporary moments of pleasure that never provide lasting satisfaction.

Jesus has lavished us with various gifts of grace like health, daily provision, a  career, a loving family, clothes, talents. Do we call him through prayer or walk with him, seeking his will before our own as our way of saying thanks? Do we go with him on a date by ensuring we have daily quiet time devoid of distractions? How much time do we give him anyway? Some deem 1 hour every Sunday as sufficient from the 168 hours of the week, only to spend 35 hours on series, movies and games.

Unfortunately, the King of kings doesn’t get any red carpet treatment. That is reserved for politicians, our bosses, our business partners, our friends, some of who, will to ditch us at the slightest sign of a downturn in our fortunes. Not Jesus, who is with us all the time, even at our worst when we slide into addictions, wickedness and all manner of evil. He never leaves us(Hebrews 13:5) and will patiently wait for us to confess, repent and come to him.

Many men don’t take too kindly to being friend-zoned, I know I haven’t.  I have been guilty of friend-zoning Jesus. I have been guilty of confining him to the sidelines of a prison he scarcely deserves, instead of the throne of my heart. This sorry state of affairs cannot persist . He deserves more. He has earned the right to disrupt my life, my dreams, ambitions because he gave me life in the first place. He deserves my trust because He knows everything (John 21:17), his guidance is more than Google can ever offer.  My heart should no better than to chase after other ‘gods’ that don’t have my best intentions in mind whereas his will,  is perfect, pleasing and good.

Lord, I’m sorry for being blind to the abundant love you have for me. That you gave your life for me should be enough for me to give my life to you. If I were you, I would have friend-zoned me, but yet you keep coming back? In spite of my sins and iniquities, you keep coming back when others would have left long time ago.

I take the keys and open those doors. Out of the friend-zone you go, into my heart and my life you will be, lover of my soul.