13 years and counting...

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Down the years I can confidently say I have made some silly decisions but accepting Christ hasn’t been one of them. In all truth, it has been the best decision I have made and I doubt it will be topped by any other. Today marks 13 years since I chose to get saved, at the time I barely knew what I was doing or what getting ‘saved’ really meant, but I am grateful I took that step. I feel both older and younger now. Older, that I have grown in leaps and bounds but still young as I am miles away from nearing spiritual maturity.

Pimples are inevitable physical changes in the life of a teenager; my spiritual adolescence has been accompanied with an acceptance of my iniquities. My selfish nature, judgmental attitude, lustful staring, pride have been frequent blemishes to my spiritual face. By myself, I am hideous but God’s abundant grace has been the perfect concealer for my flaws and for that I am highly thankful. Often, Christ has picked me up, dusted me and helped me start the walk of righteousness by faith all over again.

For sure, Jesus has been my joy and has been gracious to me in more ways than one. How can I forget when he helped me pass my KCPE with a staggering 443 marks or the admission to Alliance High School that was to follow and a first class honours at Strathmore University to come later? All this despite having started primary school consistently being bottom of the class even scoring zero marks in a CAT once! 

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He has been relentless in showering me with gifts; if it was not my Huawei U3100 mobile handset cum Modem(Kabambe 3G is just not a name befitting for this versatile device) then it was a Samsung Galaxy Music duos. There has been a PS 2 console, laptop and now a tablet, however, his blessings haven’t just been material but in people as well.

I have been gifted loving and caring parents with equally loving siblings who have been instrumental in shaping the man I am today. The Luhnje I am will mean that I will also give credit to my kukhas, kukhus, uncles, aunts, cousins who have played their role as well. I don’t know where I would be without them. I have been blessed to be a congregant of Nairobi Baptist Church, whose teaching of the word through sermons and numerous other fellowships have been a catalyst in my spiritual growth. I have been blessed to meet and befriend people from that church, Strathmore University, Fairmont the Norfolk hotel, Silver Springs Hotel amongst many others. It has been through these people that God has revealed his character and instilled in me a desire to become like some of them because of their admirable qualities. They have enriched my life and for that reason I am blessed.

I would be lying if I said tough times haven’t been there. There have been times of sickness like having vertigo. There have been times of despair and self-doubt when I didn’t quite pass my KCSE like KCPE or when I failed to do an internship and thus didn’t look like graduating. There has been the pain of losing a comrade so early. I have experienced different kinds of pain but the most defining one was the pain of unrequited love because it made me realize how much God loved me and how little I reciprocated his affection.

Being acquaintance-zoned by a lady I really liked not just for her looks made me realize how I acquaintance-zoned God who loves me even at my worst. It was a stunning revelation that made me more appreciative of his grace and more eager to tell of the gospel. A grace that made Jesus sacrifice his life for us so that He could cancel our sin and reconcile us to God even though we didn’t deserve it. It was this grace that caused me to complain less and appreciate more of all that he has done for me. Surprisingly, it was through this pain that I understood his great love for me and it has been through these trying moments that I have experienced his mercy, grace and faithfulness first-hand as He has rescued me frequently and blessed me with things, people I have barely deserved.

He has transformed me, giving me a heart of contentment, a heart that forgives and is patient with others because he is patient with me, a heart that cares for others and not just myself and a heart that yearns to know more of God. I am far from the finished article but I trust that as I continue my walk with Christ, he will be with me every step of the way and finish the good work he started 13 years ago.

Shalom

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It’s nearing two weeks since the unfortunate events that unfolded in Garissa. The total death count has oscillated between 142, 147 and 148, but we all know that none of those figures can be reduced to a mere  statistic. These are the young lives who promised to offer so much to our country but they were brutally robbed of that chance.

Ever since, the county has been engulfed in a state  of abject grief. Most affected have been the parents, relatives and friends to the victims. Some were forced to listen as the terrorists gloated over the phone about the imminent deaths of their loved ones. If that wasn't enough, it has emerged that there were warnings given foreboding an attack but those warnings fell on deaf ears. When the attack did come, the response wasn't the quickest. 8 hours later is when a sense of tranquility had come upon the college but by then the damage had been done.When the dust had finally settled, most families were placed in the unenviable position of trying to identify their kin amidst badly mangled bodies at the Chiromo funeral parlour.

Their pain is excruciating to say the least. My gratitude goes out to those volunteers who provided counseling to the victims: such acts of kindness were welcome respite amidst all this negativity. I know I can’t empathize with them as much because I have never experienced loss on such a high magnitude like the way they have. It’s so difficult to imagine what they are going through. Where do you even begin to offer counsel? While I may be at a loss to offer words of encouragement, I believe I know someone who wouldn't be; his name is Jesus.

I believe he knows what they’re going through after all he has seen it before; life being cruelly taken away from others and he shares in their grief. He felt it during Lazarus death and  he wept at the sight of it.He feels it today as his spirit residing in many other people who have gone through the same pain of watching their loves one being felled by the bullets of a terrorist. He is a compassionate God and thus invites us to cast our sorrows on him as inferred in 1 Peter 5:7. He promises us to give us a peace that transcends human understanding when we pray to him(Philippians 4:7) because he is the prince of peace(Isaiah 9:6).

The nation and media may soon after switch focus to other activities and forget the victims of this tragedy but he won't. It is common to feel isolated and alone in the face of such a travesty but he is there, he always is, he never leaves us or forsakes us(Hebrews 13:5). What a comforting assurance during such trying times.

Jesus is a healer and if there’s one thing he is good at as evidenced through the cross, it is healing and mending brokenness of others by heaping it on himself. The pain can never be forgotten  but it can be mitigated with time. It is imprudent to expect things to go back to normal for these victims, living with emotional scars is the new normal. However, whether it takes months, years, decades, he can heal the broken heart and give them peace to move on and start a fresh even offering reconciliation to the killers, however difficult.

  

Rest in peace fallen comrades, and may Jesus bring abundant peace and comfort to the surviving victims, friends and family of those who lost their lives and the nation at large.

Showered with love

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Three things in life are certain, death and taxes. The third is rarely mentioned, it’s a shower. Inevitably, a time will come when your body needs a thorough bath or shower. I recall those times back when I was in high school. Who could forget? They say Limuru is cold, but there were times, during July to be specific, that Kikuyu was just as cold, and the water for showering was even colder.

Nobody looked forward to a shower. Well I know I didn’t.  Before you point an accusatory finger at me and label me a shower-skiver, remember that there are 3 fingers pointed back at you, acknowledging you did the same. It’s okay we all did it at some point in time. When I did realize I had to go for a shower, it was quite the journey.

It would begin with that classic AHA moment. The moment you realized that your clothes and sheets were embarrassed to cover you day and night respectively. They blushed, an unmistakable brown on their cheeks. They could no longer put up with your water strike.

The next phase was acceptance. The wall of obstinacy had been broken. No need for interventions, the shower beckoned. Soap, loofah, towel and other necessary paraphernalia were assembled before the long, overdue trip to the washrooms was made. At this point there’s no turning back or so you think?

Phase 3 turns to be doubt. Suddenly courage deserts you. The cold water monster hiding in the shower, waiting to come out  seems too menacing. The imminent cold, unforgiving water on your spine doesn't seem quite a bright prospect. “Come to think of it, is this really necessary? I’m not that dirty, it’s only been SIX days. Besides, there’s nothing that Adidas body spray can’t fix.”

Phase 4, step in the no-nonsense conscience. Someone speaks inside of you, not that little boy RVP talked about some time back when he decided to ditch Arsenal, someone else. He is more assertive and rebuking. He slaps sense into you.“Stop being a wuss and take a shower, you're filthy!!!” the voice commands. You mull over the order and see plenty of sense. It was true, I was being a coward and I was dirty. It was time to stand up and be counted, or in my case, be showered. After an eternity of fearfully imagining the cold water on my body, I turned the knob and waited with bated breath as the shower head roared to life. I shut my eyes tight and braced for the homecoming.

You see, the cold water has never been one to withhold its emotions. It rushed to shower my body with unbridled affection. My torso, in return, wasn't feeling at all lovey-dovey and played hard to get as usual. The water being extremely chivalrous wouldn’t take no for an answer. The numerous kisses on my back and chest that followed were all too much. The cold! Utterly relentless!!! The water had really missed me! I let out a roar like the one of Ronaldo after his Ballon d’or acceptance speech. Ignore the fact that it often sounds like a whimper but it was a roar, a roar of victory. Once that's done with, it would be now just a matter of getting soap on the body as quickly as possible on the body before another showering of fatal pecks.I get the soap on my loofah and scrub away to remove the filth and ward of dirt. Again, I stand under the waterfall but this time the water is not as cold, guess my body has fallen for the charming water hook, line and sinker. Just like that, the shower is over, to be resumed as soon as possible.

I will step out a clean man, proud of my accomplishment, feeling so fresh, so clean.  It is such a pity that despite all my hard efforts I will be back to square one in only a matter of minutes. Dirt is an ever present. How hard  it is to keep the body clean  but it’s even harder to clean up your life to reach God’s standards.

In fact it’s downright impossible. God is super-holy. His standards of holiness are so high and can never be reached after what Adam and Eve did years ago. Any attempt to clean our lives to meet his standard is just laughable because we are naturally dirty or sinful. Maybe I could try to do little righteous acts here and there to break even against the cost of my past transgressions but it would never be enough for God. It wouldn’t work because like in Isaiah 64:6 " All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rugs." They never clean  but just give the impression that cleaning is being done but the filth remains. And if like Isaiah said in chapter 59:2 that our iniquities separate us from God and that our sins hid his face from us and Romans 6:23 affirming that our just wages for sin is death, we were doomed!

Fortunately for us, God saw we could never be able to clean ourselves by our own effort and took up that task himself. Using his body that had committed no sin and his cleansing blood to wipe away the sin of the world, He made the ultimate sacrifice and died on the cross to give us life, a way back to God after the separation sin had caused. Then after three days, he resurrected, giving the cleaning process and full purge of the world’s sins a stamp of approval. Unlike my pain of cold water, He endured the pain of being God yet  betrayed for only 30 pieces of silver as if that was his worth. He endured beatings, a crown of thorns, carrying a heavy cross, triple denial from his trusted disciple  and then being nailed on the wrists,feet and he was possibly naked. He experienced all kinds of pain, all of which he never merited but willingly endured because he loved us.

I can never and will never understand why God loves us. He loves people like me who forsake him, deny him and reject time and time again. Unbelievable. Out of love and compassion, he had healed people, resurrected others and yet they were baying for his blood and demanded a criminal to be set free in his place. He didn't complain but accepted the heavy price he had to pay for mankind. Marriage proposals are mostly met with excitement but this extravagant show of  love was met with hate, cheers that the God-man was getting his just punishment. The result was that billions of people were set free and liberated from the slavery of their sins. All their sins erased because he gave himself up as atonement for our sins.

Imagine dying and then going to heaven and on arrival, being informed that your whole life would be broadcast on a giant screen for all of heaven to watch. Giant as in, 200km screen!!!(I stress imagine). I think of it as my own reality show, Keeping up with Kenneth. On display would be the good, bad and ugly and I mean ugly. Every sin across my life. If a day just had 1 sin, imagine a whole lifetime?!!! Would I warrant a place in heaven after all that wrongdoing, I don’t think so. Then I recall that I have accepted Jesus while I was alive and instead of viewing my sins, I have footage that is devoid of any bad scenes because I accepted Jesus and had his blood delete all the sin I had committed and present me as perfect before God.

What bliss. I could never clean up my act but thankfully God did it for me. It’s weird that come Easter we are celebrating the death of somebody, but if his death has brought so much life how can you not celebrate. I was doomed to die but God loved us and left his heavenly throne to die for us so that if we just believe he did so and confess, we may be cleansed. The video below shows it perfectly, before we were corrupted by sin, then we were cleansed by him and no longer have to try and earn our salvation because he already did it for us. As Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast." I accept the gift and give my life to him, the righteousness I pursue is just my way of saying thanks to a God who showered me with his love and purified me.