Years back, there was no Instagram ,
WhatsApp, Candy crush, Professor Bamba, Netflix or even our lovable 50 bob DVD
guy. Kids of today might wonder how we survived back then. Well we did, back
then we played marbles, kati, and rounder amongst others. We had fun and we watched whatever KBC had to
offer in terms of entertainment. Being kids we loved cartoons and I know I
don’t stand alone when I say I lived to watch
Double Dragon, Samurai Pizza Cats, Beast Wars Transformers and off
course, Aladdin.
Aladdin was an all-time favourite for many.
Who can forget Aladdin, Jasmine, Abu, Carpet and the affable Genie with his
funny impressions?!! Genie may have been
a star character in the series and the movie but he was a universal character
because of the genie in a lamp/bottle story with the accompanying 3 wishes. I
would often imagine what I would say if given the chance to make those 3
wishes. Back then, my first wish would be to have all the hotdogs, kebabs and
chips in the world!!! Corny.., I know !!! I was a kid with big dreams and an
even bigger appetite!!! How I’m still slim till today, with a love for food
spanning decades, is anyone’s guess.
My second wish would be for millions of
footballs to play with my friends because I just loved football and still do to
today even despite my beloved Manutd’s best efforts to put the manufacturers of
sleeping pills out of business.
My third and final wish would be to have
more wishes!!! Duh!!!I must say the
first two, were original, the third was after hearing that answer over and over
again from many others who said it so that they would never have to live with
the regret of having wasted their wishes.
Over-time those wishes have changed and I’m
certain that nobody shares my previous childhood desires. I am certain that if
there were such a thing as a genie today and millions of people were to rub his
lamp and ask for three wishes, each time, despite the multitude of responses,
the genie would identify a underlying need in those wishes; the need to feel
important.
Is there really a desire bigger than that?
To feel valued, of worth, appreciated and big in people’s eyes. Look around and
you will see it constantly, people frantically searching for validation from others,
longing to be affirmed. It’s a longing which never seems to be filled, or maybe
it’s because we strive to fill that need with an assortment of things that we
deem as ideal measures of our self-worth.
As we live in a society with an
ever-growing inclination to relative truth, it comes as no surprise that we have
relativized the measure of a person’s worth. The definitive measure of one’s
worth varies greatly with no clear-cut marker in place. Money seems to take the
first place in defining the value of a person. Have it in plenty and you’re a VIP,
have it in moderation and you’re treated just like everybody else, an ordinary
person. Don’t have it all and you’re less of a human being to some.
Others derive their importance from the
clothes they wear. Only designer labels will make the cut or something straight
outta NFM or FAFA. Wear anything less and they feel they will be treated as a ‘has
been’ or worse, ‘a never will be’!
A common school of thought is to define our
value in terms of the things we have. Thus, you feel important when you have a
top of the range vehicle, a mansion, the latest phone and you feel less
important when you lack either of these things or posses these items but in
lesser value or size.
Looks also play a part in shaping one’s
worth to some. Some people will go at any length to achieve the perfect look
ranging from a radical diet plan, a rigorous exercise regime, a botox injection
or a visit to the plastic surgeon. The slightest blemish will have them
worried. They obsess over their looks and only feel affirmed when complimented.
The other significant measure of our
identity and worth is in our behaviour or mannerisms. It may sound outlandish
but some people feel important because of the foods they eat, with some taking
exception to eating certain foods as they feel those foods are beneath them.
They are those who drink choice drinks to show their sophistication and sneer
at other beverages as they consider them appropriate for a lesser class of
people and not them.
Others feel of value when they are seen
with the who’s who, they feel important when they’re going to events or
travelling the world. They have taken to social media to document their
experiences and solicit likes in a bid to feel validated. While others who
don’t have their lives as eventful as theirs look on from a distance in envy
and wallow in a sort of quarter-life crisis. Then in a bid to feel relevant or
cool, they will try to out-do or at the very least match their ‘vibrant’
friends.
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How we long to be appreciated, to be loved
and accepted and we put out all the stops to achieve it. Not everyone is looking for validation though
these ways as they are some who do these things not to be affirmed but because
they simply can. Life, education, career, family have enabled them to attain
such a status. It maybe also after years of hard work and holding on to their
dreams they are receiving their just dues. For a vast majority though, they
live a lie because they do these things to feel a sense of worth, not to be
left behind by others and at times coming at the cost of hiding their true
selves. It’s like living life as a teen yearning for acceptance and doing anything
to fit in because of the perceived pressure from the successful elite, whose
lives they are dream to emulate. The
song, High school never ends, by Bowling for Soup, perfectly exemplifies it ,
with the lyrics to the chorus being;
The whole damn
world is just as obsessed
With who’s the
best dressed and who’s having sex
Who’s got the
money, who gets the honeys
Who’s kinda cute
and who’s just a mess
And you still
don’t have the right look
And you don’t
have the right friends
Nothing changes
but the faces, the
names, and the
trends
High school
never ends
GASP!!! What is such a song doing on such a
blog!!! Well, I’ll tell you. I l used to adore Rock music even as a Christian.
It took me some time before I realized that I had to refrain from listening to
some of it. However, not before I drew lessons from the content in that music,
especially from this song.
At the time, I related with the song’s
lyrics like most of you have. Indeed it was frustrating for some that the never
ending high school norms dragged on to adulthood. It is sad that people draw
their identity from others who don’t know the real them but are only acquainted
with the mask paraded before them. It’s an unevenly balanced scale where you have
to work super hard to keep up the pretence that can come crashing down, along
with your self-worth at the slightest moment.
Living life this way can be quite
exasperating. Having to do these things for identity, love and acceptance can
take its toll. It’s futile trying to please everybody because you just can’t
and quite frankly you never will. It’s even more tiresome living to people’s
expectations , always needing to put your best foot forward and hide your flaws
and issues within, when deep down you long for people to accept you just the
way you are.
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Well, here’s the good part, there is
someone who actually knows you inside out to the very hairs of your head and
the things you do when nobody’s watching. He knows your addictions, your flaws,
your imperfections and still sees you as precious.
That person is Jesus and in his word, he
makes it plainly evident how valuable we
are to him. It is seen from day 1, whereas he spoke other things to being, man
was hand-made and life was breathed into him!!!(Genesis 2:7)
Our worth to him starts from the get-go, he
already knows us before birth as Jeremiah 1:5 reads, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
Our issues of looking for affirmation mostly start from a lack of identity and
here is God saying he knows our lives from conception to death even before we
were actually born!!!
This in-depth knowledge of us includes
knowing our flaws, the ones we desperately try to hide because we fear will be
isolated if people find out. Ordinarily, when we mess up big time, people want
nothing to do with us but not Jesus. He still chased after us. He still came
running for us even when we were pushing him away.
Value in something or someone can be seen
either when someone is willing to undergo sacrifice, to bear humiliation, to
endure pain or even death for that
person or thing, that Jesus underwent all 4 underlines just how important we are to him regardless of whether
we are poor, rich, beautiful, average-looking, disabled, messed up et.c. That
he sacrificed his Godly sovereignty to become a mere man and relate with us at
our level shows just how he valued us. That he was able to endure lashes on his
body till he became disfigured, or wear a crown of thorns and then die nailed
to a cross naked for us is a larger than life affirmation that he cherishes us
and see us as dear to him.
It shows us we’re a big deal to him. I can
never understand why he loves us so but with a child-like faith, I believe it
to be true. We often tell people we love, “You mean the world to me.” To Jesus,
the world, you and me, really meant the world to him and he put aside his life
for the world.
Quite often, it’s easy to feel worthless. It’s
prevalent to feel cast aside, belittled and feel that we just don’t measure up.
When you have the media constantly shoving in your face what you lack to become
richer, more beautiful, fun, you drift to feeling inadequate. When people chide
you for not reaching their expectations or those of the society, you can feel
small. In Jesus’ eyes you are a big deal. You are so precious to him that he
sacrificed his life to enable you to gain your identity as his child, his
friend or his brother, sister if you accept his gift of salvation and follow
him.
Romans 8:34-38 tell us that nothing can
separate us from his love. Not the guy you killed when you were driving under
the influence of alcohol, nor the porn you watched for the umpteenth time, nor the
HELB loan you squandered on a night out, nor that regrettable one night stand,nor
that research project that was plagiarized. Nothing. Nothing because on that
cross, through his death, he paid the full penalty for your mistakes and
cancelled all those flaws to make you flawless if you believed in him.
In Luke 15, the prodigal son thought
himself as a nobody when he returned back to his father. He thought he was unworthy
to be his son but his father welcomed him back, ‘my son’ and gave him the best
robe and held a feast for the VVIP because he had returned. You may come back
to him, tail in your legs, a dark past, a sullied reputation but he welcomes
you back like the VVIP you are, you’re a big deal to him.
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