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| Photo credit: www.innerblissyogastudio.com |
April 20th 2016 marked 14 years since I accepted
Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. Woop!Woop!! Glass shattering!!! Ikibamba
wapi nduru...!!!! Yes, it’s a milestone to celebrate and to be crazy about mostly
because it has been God who has enabled me to be faithful to him. I have learnt
a host of lessons along the way; here are 14 of them.
1. God’s
love is bigger than your sin or iniquity
When you give your life to Jesus, it is often and falsely
presumed that you now are capable of doing no wrong. It is assumed as a Christian;
you will always be righteous so much that when you sin/backslide you beat
yourself up and think yourself unworthy to be called his child.
It’s led people to believe that Christians are hypocrites,
why go to Church one day and be found wanting the next, why don’t I just cut
the charade and indulge in my sins of drunkenness, sexual impurity because I
will never be perfect no matter how hard I try?
The answer to that is God’s love, God’s abundant,
unconditional and unfailing love. It is something unlike ever seen before. Love
is one of the hardest things to define; God’s love for us is one of the hardest
things to understand.
It’s a love that has him reaching out for us even when we’re
not reaching out to him. It’s a love that cares for us at our worst, even when
we feel unworthy of it. It’s a love that gives gives and gives with so little
being received in return. A mystery it is, only simplified by Jesus displaying
this love in the flesh, by giving his life for us on the cross so that the
penalty of our sins was paid. He underwent excruciating pain and death that we
should have faced. All this so that we may be free from the clutches of sin,
that we may be reconciled to God and have eternal life so long as we believe and confess that Jesus
died for our sins and resurrected to complete our salvation.
Were it not for God’s love, our sin would be the death of
us. Instead, he blots out our transgressions, for his own sake and remembers
our sins no more(Isaiah 43:25). That is his mercy for you, withholding
punishment that we deserve for our sin
and instead giving us another chance that we scarcely deserve. David knew this
too well and when faced with 3 undesirable consequences as a result of taking a
census, he chose the plague, believing that from all the other options, the
plague was the best because God might possibly show mercy, the others wouldn’t.
David was right because after God sends a plague, he is grieved because of the
calamity and told the angel to withdraw his hand (1 Chronicles 21:15).
Abraham also knew God’s love through mercy and that’s why he
was able to plead for Sodom, negotiating with God to ridiculous terms. From
sparing the city on account of 50 righteous men to just 10!!!(Genesis
18:16-33). God’s love is the stuff of legends, it defeats logic and forgives
those who should not be forgiven. Jonah knew this when he said in Jonah 4:2-“O
LORD, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so
quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate
God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending
calamity.” Jonah knew beforehand that God would mercifully forgive the Ninevites whom he thought
deserved death and God ends up forgiving them.
God delays his wrath, even when our sin demands it. With this
in mind, we don’t have to feel burdened by the weight of our sin. We don’t have
to feel never being good enough or unworthy to be loved by him because of our
sin. It happens so frequently that we sin/backslide and then wallow in self
condemnation and think, “God doesn’t love me any more.” “How could he still
love me after what I have just done?” The words he says to Moses are especially
relevant. “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on
whom I have compassion.” (Exodus 33:19) it goes a step further in Romans 9:16
with words that are music to my ears, “It does not, therefore, depend on man’s
desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.” That’s a relief because I know all my
righteous acts are only just filthy rugs so I can’t even think of earning God’s
love.
It’s acerbated by the fact I sin, but his grace and mercy
because of the cross handle that, his love, incredulously, is still poured out
on us. Whether it’s on the Christian struggling with living a double life, one
at church and one at the club, the Christian struggling with sex addiction, the
Christian struggling with living his walk with Christ ‘chini ya maji, the
Christian who has had an abortion or a pregnancy out of wedlock, God still
loves them.
I may stumble but God’s love is definitely bigger than my
sin or iniquity. And for that I don’t have to spend decades agonizing over my
past mistakes, I know out of his love, he can forgive me and give me another
chance to start over.
2. Prayer
is not just a list of my personal requests to God
It sure didn’t start this way. I remember my prayer life in
the early days.
“ God give me new clothes.”
“God, a playstation, please a playstation, all the neighbourhood kids have one!”
“God, grant Manutd victory today, we’ve never beaten Chelsea
at Stamford Bridge, and besides they beat us first leg. God give Manutd
victory.”
"God, you know I like her. Just let her pick up the phone.
God, fine, she is light, she is pretty, voluptuous but God you know I don’t
like her just for her curves, I admire her intellect, her principles, Im still
attracted to her even when she doesn’t wear minis or show her cleavage. I don’t
want her for sex.You know that. I feel butterflies around her mpaka I can’t
even eat when she's close by. So frustrating!!!(Where's that exasperated emoji when you need it!) LORD, si you remove this butterflies. Please God, if it’s your will,
achukue simu and when she does, please give me words to say, please no choking.”
“God, this research project, I don’t have a methodology. I
don’t know much in Chapter 3, justifying my sample population, scratch that I'm
gonna chose 100 respondents, it’s a good number from which I can deduce
percentages easily. Help me find respondents and God help me finish this project.”
"God, thank you for helping me read. It was hard waking up. Please LORD, don't bring what I haven't read for. Help me pass these exams."
“God give me an attachment, Lord I have to graduate, please
give me an attachment, I’ve been top of my class, surely I have to graduate.”
That has since changed. A LOT.
“God, thank you for salvation, thank you so much for the
cross, were it not for the cross I don’t know where I would have been. I fall
so many times but you still love me LORD, thank you for dying for us.”
“God thank you for bringing more people to your kingdom.
Thank you for the people who gave their lives to you today. LORD, I pray that I
may be able to allow the Holy Spirit to convict people of your grace by sharing
my testimony, I pray as a church, we may perform our roles so that more people come
to you.”
“God thank you for my vertigo and thank you for my
urticaria/formication/eosinophilic dermatitis or whatever sickness I had.
Through them, I found out it’s not medication or doctors that heal, it’s you.
Moreover, through those illnesses I have realized prevention is way better than
the cure and they compelled me to work on my health by eating right and
exercising. The next time I get really sick, I know you have a purpose for it.”
“God thank you for my tarmacking. Thank you for this dry
period. It’s been long, maybe It may reach 3 years but God I’m learning so much
about you during this time than I would have if I had a job. Moreover, I need
to grow to be able to work to the best of my ability, this first class that you
gave me doesn’t give me the right to get a job, it’s by your grace.”
“God, thank you for my singleness. God I’m so not ready for
a girlfriend or a wife. I doubt I will ever be ready. God, loving a woman like
you loving the church, giving your life for her, nurturing her, making her more
beautiful from the first time we met, bearing with her weaknesses. That’s
really big love. I have so much to learn, Lord if you give me a woman, help me
be able to love her the way you love
us as a church, I need all your
strength.”
My prayer life has undergone a lot of change. More admission
of my inadequacy, more thanksgiving for his many many blessings even those that
don’t appear blessings. I speak to him candidly and I also try to LISTEN to
what he says to me. I’m still working on the listening part though.
As I said there’s a lot of thanksgiving besides the
aforementioned. Thanking God for the gift of life, another day. Thanking God
for the gift of family, a mum and dad, a brother and sister who care for me and
love me. Thanking God for health. Thanking God for a safe journey to town in a
46. Most importantly, thanking God for who he is; loving, gracious, merciful
for these qualities are the ones that I ensure that even after my lust fest, I
can go down to my knees, confess and ask forgiveness.
Not only thanksgiving but now prayer is no- longer about me,
but others. You wonder how it is possible to pray for more than 5 miniutes,
pray for others, intentionally and you will wonder no-more.
Intercession has led me to pray for my immediate family, my
extended family, my neighbours whether I speak to them or not, pastors and
their families, the worship team in church, the ushers, other ministries in
church, my bibles study members, friends from the small group fellowships i've been in, my
accountability partners, my team-mates at Bethel FC , the Bethelles, muslims,
politicians, the lady whom I had a crush on and didn’t reciprocate my affection,
my former classmates, my former faculty at Strathmore University, my country.
Sometimes I pray generally, sometimes for specific individuals with a verse in
mind. All in all, I feel compelled to pray not just for myself but for others,
it’s that new heart God has given me.
I pray about my shortcomings, DAILY. “ God, I’m sorry about
my BDM thoughts and lewd fantasies and thus grieving your holy spirit.“ “I’m
sorry for being too eager to check out cleavage and thighs. ” “I’m sorry that I
filled myself with pride and attributed my success to me, rather than you.” I’m
sorry that I chickened out from sharing the gospel.” “ I’m sorry that I slack
off when I should be working harder to support my family.” “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” It’s a recurring theme. It’s an ever present
theme if I’m honest. I am not a saint, just a sinner who keeps trying. Not only
that I only try because God wills me to try. Philippians 2:13 confirms it by
reading, “ for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his
good purpose.”
That honesty isn’t limited to just my sin, it comes in my
requests. “God please give me wisdom, you said it in James 1:5, that I can ask
for wisdom.” “ God give me work, give me income that I have something to share
with those in need and witness your grace as per Ephesians 4:28.”
Sometimes, I rant sometimes I pour out my soul. Sometimes I
do a Jeremiah, “ O LORD, you have deceived me and I was deceived.”(Jeremiah
20:7) “God, where are you, really where
are you?” Sometimes I don’t hold back the frustration. I can be honest with
him. My relationship with him allows me to it.
After the thanking, confessing, praying for others, praying
for myself, He answers yes or no, he gives me that peace of Phillipians 4:7
that even if I don’t know his plans or everything is not going my way, I am at
ease. I just have this overwhelming peace that blankets me the whole day despite
the challenges I face. It’s the power of prayer. I thank God for prayer
3. Hiding
sin is counter-productive
When we get saved, we want to give this squeaky clean image
of ourselves. Fine, you can say I witness through my life, my righteousness but
we are broken as well, we shouldn’t hide it. Hide it and the guilt destroys the
peace of righteousness you had before.
Try to conceal it and all you get is pain, unrest in your
soul, a severed fellowship with God. Therefore confess it. Don’t wait till you
feel sorry enough, do it NOW. Get an accountability, get a small group, go to a
pastor and even in prayer, say it out loud. I messed up. It doesn’t make you
any less a child of God. It just means that you have fallen and acknowledge you
need God’s strength to get back up and walk with him, you can never fight it
alone. Confessing sin is the first point to repentance, to starting over the
fight against Satan. Go all out with it, don’t hide it, it just makes you
miserable when you do.
4. The
older I get, the worse I become
14 years in Christ should mean I am a better Christian than
I was back then. Wrong. I am worse. My sin count has increased. I no longer can
claim ignorance, when I sin, I sin knowingly.
Nevertheless, God is sanctifying me slowly and slowly and
when I hit the expiry date, then I will be made perfect. Till then I can only
rely on his grace that is bigger than my sin.
5. Church
isn’t the building, a Sunday act of praising God, praying, tithing, listening
to a service; it is the people
Church isn’t the place, It is the body of believers. It is
you, it is me. Church, viewed in this way, means if one part of the body
suffers, I suffer. It’s not about finger point and saying; the worship team
needs to up their game, the service leaders are boring, the elders are slow to
make decisions. When any part of the body suffers, it is not my job to
criticize but to energize, to see what role I can play in helping them.
As church, I have to bear with one another love, as church I
have to play my role in advancing the kingdom of Christ, being a small group
leader, being involved in the sport’s ministry, being a blogger.
Church does
not function by itself, church is not just the pastorate, it is you and me who
need to be involved in doing what we can with the gifts and talents God has
given us to manifest his grace. You and me have to bear with each other in love
and help other ministries function so that together the church can thrive and witness
Christ.
6. You
can’t please everybody
You are either hot/cold; lukewarm is a no-no. You can’t be
neutral and take sides. Being hot for Christ means being cold for the world,
you can’t try and please both, one will have to take precedence and we all know
who it should be.
It’s exasperating trying to please Christ and the world at
the same time, a stand for Christ means being an enemy of the world, an inverted way of looking at James 4:4. You will be required to say things that will win you few friends. I would rather please God than please men.
7. The
Bible is not just a list of do’s and don’ts
All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching,
rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
Scripture is deep and all-round. It is a reservoir of
knowledge and wisdom. Every day I learn so much about myself, the world and God
through scripture. The bible isn’t just John 3:16 or the commandments in Exodus
20, all those 66 books have something to learn. You can learn about
diversifying your investments in Ecclesiastes 11:1-6. You can learn about God’s
grace and his penchant for using broken people just by looking at the genealogy
of Jesus in Matthew 1. You can see the power of faith through David versus Goliath
which has become a modern day idiom reflected by Leicester City surge to the EPL title. Scripture is very pervasive.
Reading the bible, day by day, chapter by chapter, book by
book even the scary one called Revelations is not an exercise in futility.
There is so much to know about God, what he desires that I have to read it
daily, reread chapters and verses because it is indeed living and active and I
am taught something new daily.
It’s a travesty that in my 14 years with Christ, I
have only read the bible from Matthew to Malachi twice. The surprising thing,
is that even in my third attempt I still find new things in Matthew and other books,
truly scripture is living and active, wholesome spiritual food to equip the man of God for every good work.
8. The
heart cannot stay the same
My heart has undergone change, gradual change. As I have
walked with Christ, It has become softer and more sensitive to the needs of
others. From me-focused, my perspective, it has become others-focussed and in
need of a godly-perspective
Apathy is kicked out. I can’t just sit and do nothing about
the glaring inequality, the big gap between the rich and poor. It’s almost
impossible to ignore the plight of the homeless kids, the sick who can’t afford
treatment, the women who are raped.
You can’t just sit at a corner and ask God to do something,
like Matthew West sang, you have to face the uncomfortable truth and realize he
did; he created YOU. He created me and you to do something about it, not just
say “someone else will do something about it.” God moves our hearts to do something.
God also changes our hearts to change our thinking. I have
come to learn how to suspend judgement. It’s so easy to look at someone, and
rush to hasty conclusion when we don’t know the battles they fight, the
skeletons in their closet, the demons they face. Seek first to understand
before you’re understood. That’s a lesson my heart has had to learn as well as
not to judge anyone because they sin different than you. I guess as a result,
this new heart Christ has given me is able to forgive much easier and let go of
a grudge, it is able to go beyond sympathizing and to start empathizing. It is able to patiently bear with others.It can
be prone to indifference sometimes but God is able to soften it to love, to show mercy,
to forgive and it is quite the
transformation I tell you.
9. Adversity,
affliction, suffering are not just to be viewed as curses from the Devil
I won’t stop tiring in saying this. Suffering, adversity,
shouldn’t just be viewed as an attack from the evil one. Good can actually come
out of it. Adversity can bring out the best in you, force you to reinvent
yourself and become stronger, wiser. Isn’t it out of challenges that
entrepreneurs are birthed? Isn’t it out of tragedies like the loss of a loved
one that families are brought together or that one’s life that was hurtling
down towards death is given a wake-up call, an AHA moment for them.
Heartbreak or pain doesn’t always lead you to despair.
Through all things, God works for our good, even the bad things. Moses’ years
as a shepherd prepared him to shepherd God’s people before they reached Canaan,
David’s years as a fugitive prepared him for being a king, Job’s time of
affliction was the prerequisite of his time of blessing.
God allows us to go through difficult times to mould us to
the people he desires so he can use us for grander purposes. It is through
these low moments that we discover another view of God we seldom knew about.
Isaiah 30:20 reads “Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the
water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes
you will see them.” Isaiah 48:10 reads “See, I have refined you, though not as
silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.”
Through lean times, God can teach us that he is our
provision and strength. Through the adversity of a period of ill-health, we are
refined and alter our eating habits to prevent disease or injury striking again.
Out of challenges something good can arise, we can be better. Like the
disciples, we may be facing a storm, thinking we are drowning but let’s
remember we are in the same boat with Jesus, who can calm the storm. The storm
is just an opportunity to exercise our faith and trust in him and we know God
is faithful and trustworthy
10. Quit
complaining
You think you have it bad, someone has it worse. We always
ask “Why not me” in reference to success, a good job e.t.c. I've found myself
asking the same question when a matatu has a fatal accident, why
shouldn’t I have been in the mat not some innocent 4 year old. Why not me, born in
Syria and face the struggles of being a migrant, why was I not born there? Why
not me, who was in a dorm sleeping when it was razed down by fire? Why not me,
when Strathmore had a fire drill gone wrong a few years after I had graduated?
There are so many times people die, people suffer and I see how industrious
they are, how much they have to offer yet they perish, why shouldn’t I be in
their place. Only God knows.
In this realm of grace, deserve doesn’t apply. The only
thing we deserve is death, all other things are really complimentary. God gives
us a lot of complimentary stuff, appreciate them, as easily as they are given,
as easily can they be taken way. A job, a friend, a home. I remember that if it
wasn’t for Christ I wouldn’t be alive in the first place so for everything I
have I am thankful, for everything I lack, I don’t complain, God can provide
later and even if he doesn’t he already provided life.
11. Converts
are good, disciples are even better
When someone finally accepts Christ, it’s a good thing,
there is celebration in heaven. They don’t become addiction-conquering,
evangelistic Christians pap. They are nurtured to it. They learn and grow as a
result of studying God’s word, being in small group fellowships with other
Christians, praying and sharing the gospel. They learn from life-on-life
lessons with other believers. This is discipleship; this is what we should
strive for.
After all, it was the great commission, go out and make
disciples. We make followers of Christ by how we follow him ourselves and that
means submitting to his word, his spirit, heeding his calling. It requires a
lot of God’s wisdom and strength. At this point in my Christian life, I realize
I have to grow because it will be required of me to mentor younger Christians,
my children if I get married. I have to become a better Christian now for the
benefit of the future. I have to become a better disciple of Christ so I can
make better disciples come after me, that way, the body of Christ will be able
to attain full maturity.
12. God
cannot be contained in the box you put him, he will come out sooner or later.
You can’t keep mum about God forever, you can’t contain him.
You can’t keep him ‘chini ya maji’ your
whole life. Soon he will burst out. Soon he will be on your facebook posts,
your instagram feed, your tweets, your whatsApp messages, the music you listen
to, the movies you watch. Matter of fact, he will put YOU in a box, along with
all your earthly desires. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer
live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in
the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me(Galatians 2:20). That has
been true of me.
As John the Baptist said, "He must become greater; I must become less."(John 3:30)
13. You
will have to live with being counter-cultural aka being weird for Christ
Accepting Christ means getting his Holy Spirit. His spirit
is a spirit of truth, that teaches us all things, that convicts the world of guilt
in regards to sin, righteousness and judgement. Inevitably, his spirit will
influence your conscience so that you will be pricked by doing sin. You will be
grieved by it and you won’t want to do it. You will soon do stuff, that the
whole world thinks is wrong but you know is right.
“It’s ok because I’m not hurting anybody.” “Everybody is
doing it so it must be right.” Those reasons are dismissed by the spirit of
truth and the result is I live a life that seems weird.
Even if everybody seems to do exams as group work, I don’t .
Even if everybody regards chastity to be a lost virtue I don’t. Even if Game of
Thrones is heading to its sixth season and is the talk of the town, world , I
don’t watch it because of my conviction. Even if I am a soccer nerd of epic
proportions and would sure do with some cash, I don’t play Sportpesa, mcheza,
betway e.t.c.
My relationship with Christ depends on it, and I desire to
be pure in heart so that I see God more, I fear being contaminated, I want to
be free from a conscience that is divided, being tugged in two opposite
directions. I would rather be safe than sorry. I would rather stay as far away
from the edge than just live life on the brink almost crossing that thin line
separating good and evil.
14. Jesus
is everything to me
He is everything. If you don’t know it by now, he is my
strength, he is my peace, he is my comforter, he is my wisdom, he is my present
help in terms of need,
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me(Philippians 4:13 NKJV). I
translate this to I can forgive the lady who didn’t reciprocate my affection
because of Jesus. I can fast because of Jesus. I can give God 10% of any money
I get no matter how broke I am because of Jesus. I can avoid hurling obscenities
at the matatu tout who urged me to enter when I said Hurlingham 20 then goes
all kigeugeu on me when i'm inside and insists I pay sh 30, I can skip arguing with him because of Jesus.I can be a virgin even despite my body craving the physical
because of Jesus. I can blog about Jesus because of Jesus. I can put my body
under immense physical training because of Jesus. I can refuse gambling because
of Jesus.
Quite frankly, I have reached 14 years because of Jesus and
I will continue because of Jesus. "For in him, we live and move and have our being.
As some of your own poets have said, “We are his offspring.” (Acts 17:28)
Jesus earned my love when he gave his life for me, it makes
sense to give him my life in return. Without him, I wouldn’t be where I am now.
14 years was all his doing, it’s nothing I can claim glory about because Jesus
has been working in me. I thank Jesus for working in my life, may more years
follow.
