Thank you Daddy

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One day my father, he told me,

“Son, don’t let it slip away”

He took me in his arms, I heard him say,

“When you get older,

Your wild heart will live for younger days

Think of me if ever you’re afraid”

He said, “One day you’ll leave this world behind

So live a life you will remember

My father told me when I was just a child

These are the nights that never die

My father told me.

Avicii struck a cord with many when he penned those lines and belted them out in his hit, ‘the nights'. Many can relate with the EDM's star, given how our fathers have offered us sound pieces of advice from time to time.

Fatherhood is the true litmus test for manhood if you ask me. A responsibility, a privilege, all  rolled up in one, that goes beyond spawning a child but nurturing one.

Tomorrow people will wax lyrical about their fathers, and why shouldn’t they? Those dads have earned it. From that poignant moment when they first held us in their arms, as we cried a river as any normal baby would do, they had our back.

They have had to sacrifice sleep in a bid to make us catch ours. They have had to put in the extra shift at work to put the food on the table, clothes on our bodies and a roof over our heads. He went the exta mile to ensure we had a good education and that we were able to visit the doctor when we felt unwell.

Fathers have had to cut out on time with the boys, or miss out on the top-of-the table EPl game just to be at their son’s game or daughter’s concert. Sacrifice is in their blood, ‘them above me, my desires’  is the mantra.

These men have had to know how life works more than Google and Wikipedia. The phrase, “I don’t know” is akin to hurling expletives, they just have to know.

You can count on dad to protect you from a broad array of villains, name them, the boogeyman, the neighbourhood bully, the mbwa kali, the teenage boy wanting to make out with his daughter et al. Dad just had this presence about him that gave us peace and comfort even when danger lurked nearby.

For some of you though, Avicii’s lyrics and my words are hollow. Perhaps death snatched your father away from you before he could leave his mark on your life. Perhaps you have a father who doesn’t tick the above boxes. Maybe it was a dad who turned physical and beat you and mum silly with his fists of rage as a result of his close relationship with the beer bottle. Maybe he jumped ship and left you and mum to fend for yourselves. Maybe be violated you as his daughter and raped you.

I won’t lie and say, I feel your pain. Neither will I pretend to know what you’re going through. What I will say is that all is not lost. Your need to be identified as a child, to be affirmed and to be loved will not go unfulfilled with the father I have come to know largely by reading what is said of him in the bible.

He is a father who heals the brokenhearted and binds their wounds(Psalms 147:3). He is a father who gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak(Isaiah 40:29). He is a father who does not revel in singing, “fimbo, chapa!” He does not take pleasure in the death of the wicked but is pleased when they turn from their ways and live (Ezekiel 18:23)

He lives in a high and holy place but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.(Isaiah 57:15)

Like most of our dads, he gives good gifts to those who ask him (Matthew 7:11) and knowing how we are comforted and find peace in his presence, he promises never to leave us or forsake us(Hebrews 13:5)

Despite all this, you and me decided to run away from him. We thought to ourselves, “We got this”. We thought that we knew what was best for us. We thought that he was too old school but we were wrong. 

Only that we didn’t got this, we knew nothing and we ended up making mistakes, plenty of them, our desire for independence only made us realize of a gnawing need to be dependent on him.

In our stubbornness, we ended up sinning, going against what he said in his word, being involved in drunkenness, being sexually impure, deceiving others and we paid a heavy price for it. Fortunately, of all the qualities God has as a father, the one that stands out is that he is love(1 John 4:8).

God loved the world too much to leave as we are so he sent his son Jesus, to be a ransom for all men(1 Timothy 2:6) to buy us back from the slavery that our sins had plunged us into. He saved us when we could not save ourselves, and it cost him more than an arm and leg, it cost him his son who had to die for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous to bring us close to God.(1 Peter 3:18)

What a loving father he is, words fail me to describe his everlasting goodness, mercy, grace and love to me. That’s my father. That’s our father. One day a year to recognize fathers is good, thus I will say happy father's day to the many dads out there. They deserve it. To God, my father, one day just doesn’t cut it, quite frankly I don’t know what can, in thankfulness I just give him my life and say thank you daddy.

3 things I find admirable about muslims

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Disparities may abound on the citing of the moon, the fact is that Ramadhan has started and muslims worldwide will be involved in a period of praying and fasting.

Al Qaeda, IS, Al Shabaab may give the image of muslims being nothing but violent, but the fast of Ramadhan serves to underline how wrong such a view it is. It is an extremely admirable ordinance, fasting and it’s not the only thing I find admirable about muslims.

Matter of fact, here are 3 things I find admirable about muslims

1.      Like I said, they fast

 Once, the need to fast was illustrated using a very appropriate analogy. Those who don’t fast were likened to people who walk bare feet and had the choice of wearing shoes. They knew that shoes are comfortable, good for feet, protected them from sharp objects, and ensured the feet were kept clean but despite all these advantages they chose not to wear shoes.

Similarly, Christians knowing that fasting brings one close to God, gives one victory over strongholds, leads to revival amongst others; bizarrely, confounding all reason, it is a practice that is given a wide berth.

 

Yours truly, for example, started fasting last year. Let me underscore that, STARTED FASTING LAST YEAR!!!

I have been a follower of Christ for 14 years and my thirteenth year, is when I was convicted to fast, for a week, just missing meals in the morning, although, I pumped my system with water. Not so muslims.

Fasting is indigenous to them even their children fast, and theirs is a morning till evening thing, without water. Fasting has been quite an experience for me.  When I denied my body food, that when it’s started to show me ATT.

During fasting, is when my mind will conveniently remind me, “Ken you have a passion for food, why haven’t you being following that passion, hmm?” That’s when my mind sadistically conjures up images of me making chocolate sauce as a dip and dunking hob nobs into it and subsequently my mouth!!  Tantalizing stuff!! That’s just only the start.

I then begin to remember how I’ve sorely missed fish fingers with tartar sauce . Then, I recall my dream of starting a restaurant, and the menu, “What could possibly accompany sweet potato fries?” “Could I use Heinz Ketchup really, it tastes good on just about everything, cinnamon maybe?”

“ Speaking of fries, why didn’t I ever get the chance to sample golden French fries with parmesan sauce while I was at Norfolk, chips and CHEESE!!! Yum” Not forgetting,  I’m  still yet to sample  ravioli, moussaka, shepherd’s pie, What have I been doing with my life? SIGH

Then I remember Guy Fieri and his food adventures, triple SIGH!!! “Fasting, Ken, fasting. “, I’m reminded. Oh right, that, yeah. Probably the Holy Spirit redirecting my to focus to the crux of the matter, the denial of food  and its spiritual purpose rather than the food itself.

To think,that muslims do this, every year for a month. Big up. I know how on some Sundays I skip lunch but drink a sufficient amount of water but still come evening, my stomach decides to stage what I would call ‘peaceful demonstrations’. The hunger pangs and loud groans of ‘solidarity forever’ within mean it’s no-longer business as usual. It’s like tyres are being set ablaze in my stomach and since calls for dialogue have been ignored, the only way to end the conflict is food.

It’s why I laud muslims as they do this every year, for a month, without water ; talk of gratifying the desires of the spirit over the body!  It’s clearly more commitment than I have shown to God in the past and for that I laud them and pray that God reveals himself to them as they practise self restraint and deny themselves.

Fasting for me, may have reminded me of my love for food, but denying myself food and humbling myself before God made scripture come alive and God reveal himself to me. It brought me new perspectives of how God works and how I ought to respond to him. It empowered me in my fight against lust and illustrated that I had control over my body not that my body had control over me. My hope is that muslims will have a similar experience if not better.

2. Their active prayer life

Early in the morning, blasting from a set of speakers, a voice calls out urging muslims to pray. The faithful respond, by bowing their knees in reverence and praying, not just once but 4 more times during the day.

Starting, early in the morning, muslims make it a point to set time to pray. I can’t say the same for myself.

I prefer the warmth of my blanket than to get up and go on my knees to talk to the God who gave me sleep, warmth and the blanket I use an excuse for not meeting him. David in Psalms 143:8 and Jesus, modelled the behaviour of seeking God early in the morning, it’s a shame I play truant instead of going to meet God early in the day. It’s a shame how sometimes a day can pass by without prayer and I have the cheek to say, “I can’t find time for God!!!”

God could make time for me, 33 years to be exact, to come to earth, to live as a human, to die a death that I should have died but apparently, I am too busy to give him, at the very least, 33 minutes of my day to read his word, meditate on it and pray.

In addition, prayer can just be a monologue instead of the dialogue he desired, when I badger him with my requests. It’s sad to say it but it’s almost as if God is just a sponsor, only called upon when stuff is needed. God hook me up with a job, God hook me up with a client, God hook me up with a car, God hook me up with a husband. The moment he hooks us up, we say thanks and do a vanishing act, only to re-emerge at the next time we need a withdrawal.

Shouldn’t prayer also be about asking God what I should do for him? Shouldn’t I also be interested in God telling me what he is doing around me, and see how I can adjust my life to his work. Majority of the time, the focus is me, my needs, my requests when it should be him, his wants, his will, the requests and needs for others.

Jesus, even facing death, prayed for God’s will to be done, that’s something I should strive to do and it would possibly be more achievable if I could pray as frequently as muslims pray. To be little with God is to be little for God. I should heed the call to pray more often.

3.  They remain true to themselves, their values and their convictions and don’t hide it

This month of Ramadan represents a period where muslims exercise not only self-restraint from food or water but sex, smoking, impure thoughts. They make a concerted effort to avoid impurity. One of their values, that they hold steadfast to, whereas on the other hand, we as Christians tend to throw those values and convictions aside for compromise.

Urban culture today has no qualms about compromising. Matter of fact, striving to be righteous or pure is ridiculed.  You can see it all around. Surveys showing that few mind having sponsors or that many are ok with gambling their way to wealth, or the view that few care how wealth is obtained, even it is through fraudulent means, the bottom line is you have got your wealth. The quality of our university education has been so compromised that examining bodies abroad no longer trust the validity of our local degrees. Values such as honesty, diligence, integrity, chastity, are on their death bed.

Muslims, on the contrary, hold their values and convictions dear to them. They value honor, loyalty,passion for justice and fear for God. They strongly believe in brotherhood, and family.

God is gracious and merciful, but unfortunately, his grace and mercy has often served as an excuse for us to be casual with the way we live out our faith. It is a casualness that has seen us compromise our faith in more ways than one.

Too many times we live life on the edge or cross over it. Watching a series like, “Ok, sex scene, I’ll just fast forward, I’ll forward again and again and again.." The sexual content is far from above normal but no biggie. Then with gambling, “Sportpesa, isorait, it’s not like any money has been stolen and besides, low risk, high returns, it’s a smart investment." Deep down, you can hear the Holy Spirit convicting you of guilt and a desire to be true to your convictions of being a Christian and what God’s word says  but his pleas falls on deaf ears.

I find it terrible that when a woman is raped, the first question is, “What were you wearing?” I also know, that is unfair for women to have to curtail their freedom in what they wear to liberate us men from lust.  However, regardless of the perspectives above, there is still a responsibility to honor God with your body. That responsibility seems  have been disregarded.

These days it’s like there is added pressure to flaunt one’s physical beauty. In a bid to look pretty, fashionable, a good number  of ladies have ended up compromising and crossing that thin line between  being elegant, pretty, stylish and  moving to that of being too explicit, sexy and raunchy.

I really want to love future bae by remaining chaste for her and thus provide emotional security for her with an exclusive relationship free from sexual experiences with others gone wrong. Furthermore I want to love her for who she is and not for what she looks like.  I hear women preach the same,(being loved for who they are rather than their looks) In fact, I hear it a lot. Unfortunately, I  hear one thing but I see another as the body is the one that is the desirable object of love as it flaunted constantly. It’s like I’m being goaded, “look, look, love me for who I look like, affirm my looks by liking my pics, notice me, compliment physical me.”

The argument has been that ladies dress for themselves and not to impress men but you never hear on social media, “Kindly men, stop liking my pics, unlike them this very instant,  return those compliments of yours,” if anything they are buoyed by the likes or the compliments and go ahead to post more pics of themselves or wear something even more revealing.

Maybe its the variety of dresses these days. Lbds, lwds,lrds,  lcds, wait no, that last one is a tv screen not a little dress of a certain color but you get the point. I haven’t even talked bodycon, pencil or bandage skirts. At almost every corner, estate, bus-stop, bus, town and even church, I get an alert, “ Dear child of God, your sexual purity bundle has expired, kindly top up in prayer or scripture to avoid lusting and a disruption in your fellowship with God.”

The majority of muslims live their lives differently.  Their ladies haven’t embraced the urban culture as much. Instead, they have stuck to theirs, desiring purity. Some could argue that muslim women are forced to wear burqas, that it is imposed on them, that it is conservative or oppressive. Truth is, a good number of muslim women are proud of burqas for a no of reasons like illustrating their commitment to their culture,showcasing their identity but another being, not willing to be seen  as  sex-object or as scripture would say’ a hint of sexual immorality’. They opt to flaunt the beauty of their character and intellect, rather than their skin. True to themselves, values and convictions, very little compromise, quite admirable.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”(Matthew 5:8,NIV). The message version reads, "You’re blessed when you get your inside world-your mind and heart-put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.” That’s one of the beatitudes, i really desire, that’s one I see embodied in islam, an adherence to values and convictions and thus remain pure. The downside of compromise is that it messes up your inside world. It darkens your conscience, corrupts your mind and heart. You flirt with sin, sin seduces you and you cheat on God till you no longer have the courage to share your love for God, for fear of being labelled a hypocrite,instead hiding it, choosing to keep your relationship with Christ under wraps or ‘chini ya maji.’

Only by striving to be pure, and avoiding compromise for the very same reason as participating in it, which is God’s grace, can I see God, love him and share him with others.

During this period of Ramadan, I will be praying for muslims, not just for the reasons cited above. It’s unfortunate that most muslims have been painted with a broad brush of being terrorists or  terrorist sympathizers. They are people just like us. They are people who also love, desire peace and holiness, to be better people and hence the fast. They are people whom Jesus Christ sacrificed his life for so that they may have eternal life provided they believe in him just like you and me have. My hope is that this Ramadhan will be a chance for them to encounter that loving God who died for them on the cross and that he gives them more of his peace as a result. Aside from admiring these qualities, I will pray for muslims and ask you, dear reader to do the same.


P.S. Daily prayer guides that can help you pray for muslims are available at www.30daysprayer.com