If they only knew...

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I never have been one to have a vivid imagination. No, hang on, that's quite not true. I have, a bit-ish.Perhaps that could explain why I've always been so slow of thought. But things change. I've learnt to unshackle my mind from the fetters of normalcy. Currenlly however, my mind isn't used to the freedom. Running amok, it is capable of conjuring up all sorts of things. Like this day for example, my mind got me thinking….

Perched aloft in the heavens, ensconced on his spectacular throne he muses. The Seraphim encircle him, bestowing on him praise after praise. After all he does deserve it. Reverence is accorded to him with abandon.

His thoughts are directed at his people. Billions of them strewn across the globe. I wonder how he can think about each one of them at the same time. Perhaps when I finally meet him face to face, I will be too awestruck to even ask. For now I’ll just keep at wondering then.

He reflects on Jake, the teen who is being pressurized to fit in. He thinks of Lydia, who just discovered her pregnancy is positive. Then Ronnie, whose love of self insidiously grows. Of Angela, caught in two minds on which ideal to follow. Then me, dear old me, who is wondering how my tomorrow will unfurl.

Our various circumstances do not at all surprise him. After all he knows everything. I guess you could say, we are his version of Big Brother except there’s no prize money for us or elimination. He also knows everything. I mean everything. The start, the climax, the twist and turns, plateau periods. Nothing is obscured from him.

Dear old me is getting edgy. Days have turned to weeks. Weeks to months. Months to Years. Still pretty much the same guy. Not much growth. Stagnation par excellence. That, “What are you up to nowadays” question is getting harder to answer.

“If he only knew how in the center of my plan he was. If he only he knew the family issues he’ll face in 15 years or also the counsel and emotional support I will use him to provide to others, he’ll realize this adversity and waiting period was necessary. He wouldn't play victim. He would appreciate his Job-like experiences."

"If only he knew how I could lift him up out of the mire by a word. By just a word. Or I could stretch my hand too to draw him out. That works.  If only he knew I could influence anybody anywhere to be positively inclined to him. He doesn't need connections as the world is trying to incline him to believe. I am the ultimate connection.

If he only knew what he thinks would be the ideal community or the ideal wife is just the half of it. If he only he knew why I kept people away from him and likewise, kept him from people. It was for his and their good. He’ll learn in time. David didn’t see himself as a king. Neither did Abraham see himself as a father of faith. Moses thought he was a has been. If he knew all my purposes for his life, he would kill himself with analysis-paralysis. Future him would scare him to death. For now he will have to trust me day by day."

"Lydia, Lydia, Lydia. Now she is going to think I don’t love her. She is going to give church a wide berth for 2 years. Do a disappearing act on her community of faith. Another prodigal daughter. Funny how her former bully will be the one to help her get back on her feet from Post Partum Depression. Baby Antoinette will teach her so much about herself. She will see herself in her daughter’s eyes. She will see me in herself as a parent. That Sunday when she will finally let her hair down before the congregation, I smile watching that priceless moment even if it has yet to happen for her in real time. How she will liberate people. I will tell her I never left. She will know too well she did. Funny how she will try to hide her baby bump then years later she will be sharing her brokenness and ministering to girls pregnant out of wedlock. She will be an inspiration to so many women. She will teach my word so powerfully. The juxtaposition of the lady she is now and the one to come, couldn't be greater."

" I Gave Ronnie a job. Gave him a car. Gave him a wife. Lucifer, Adam, now it's Ronnie with the pride bug. They never will learn. He thinks his success his doing. He thinks he climbed his way to the top because of his hustle and grind. “Gabriel, Michael, It’s amazing how humble he will be in some months to come. Praying for his son’s salvation day after day. How his son Greg will make him so dependent on me. Fatherhood does that to men. Makes them appreciate their Dads too. If Ronnie knew how much I am proud of him and not measure his worth through his failings..."

"Angela. My angel. Trying to find that elusive balance but in so doing she is being pulled asunder. Trying to please her peers by being lit.At the same time she wants to grow as my daughter. The dual life is taking its toll on her. On one hand, she is pressurized to flaunt her body, on the other hand she doesn't want to objectify herself sexually. On the one hand she is being sucked to the rat-race, on the other hand she is being called to make time for ministry. On one hand, she doesn't want to be the 'memory verse' christian whom her peers will feel insecure around. On the other hand  she feels the world needs me and she needs more of my word to share it with them. She yearns to be a light to the hurting, the downtrodden but her peers don't want her to be different. She wants to share her faith. She is trying to keep the best of both worlds but it's tearing her apart. I can feel her strain. If she just found her identity in me. If she knew having me didn't mean losing her fun side. People think that following me means they have to be excessively solemn, prim , rigid, robotic and contrived. They conveniently forget it is I who created happiness. I, who created joy. I, who created laughter. I, who created enthusiasm, zeal, passion, music, dance, sex. People don't lose all those by following me,instead in me, they find them in their truest form. If Angela only knew how infinitely better I could make her when she is fully in me rather than engaging in this duality, she wouldn't hesitate to quit the double act." 

"Jake, the man after my own heart. Satan and his minions must be getting sick of him. He aced the cheat-exam temptation. He passed the steal-money from parents temptation. He passed the sex-before marriage temptation. Rosa made it so difficult, all his male peers wouldn’t have thought twice. But Jake. My man. Now his classmates are picking on him, hating on him for leading a model lifestyle. Peter's words for suffering because of doing good are starting to sound very real for Jake. His peers are questioning his sexual orientation because he said no to Rosa. His virginity is ridiculed. He thinks he's alone. He thinks he is weird. Why do they always think when they are faithful to me and the world hates them for it, they are being arrogant?If he only knew how many people he is influencing. Thousands of likes, but people wont hit the like button for fear of being crucified. He thinks his posts on IG, Twitter, FB are going unnoticed. If he only knew the plethora of souls he is leading to me…

I love them all. All of them. If they only knew how much I loved them. They soon will . They will see my son’s death on the cross differently. They will have an amazingly fresh perspective. I will keep awakening their minds to love me more. They soon will know how much I forgive them. My scandalous love and mercy will cause them to do things that the world will shake their head in disbelief. Their commitment to me will be the stuff of legends. I could have well as added their names to the Hebrews 11 roll call.

They wouldn’t criticize  themselves so much. They wouldn’t define themselves by the labels others give them. If they only knew the men and women they will become. They’ll look back to their present circumstances with nostalgia. They’ll see how my hand was at work, shaping them, molding them.

If they only knew...