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| Photo by Daian Gan from Pexels |
I’ve never been good with good-byes.
Especially when it comes to clothes. The reason there are not too many
second-hand clothing items in the market is because of people like me. People
who believe in extracting 200% from an item of clothing. 100% value for money
from wearing it. The next 100% being from the clothing item’s reincarnation as
a mopping rag or a cleaning cloth of sorts. One item of clothing however was
spared that fate. A particular T-shirt of mine whose last appearance stretches
back to 2015.
It was one of my favourite tees. A white T-shirt
with a play button in the middle. I liked that Tee for many reasons not least
the play button in the middle. It was a seamless balance of panache and
austerity, classic white tee with a dash of sophistication in a play
button.
When I wore the Tee, Some people thought it prudent
to ‘hit-it’ and expect me to do some version of the mannequin challenge. I
don’t blame them, I would have done so too. A good friend of mine knows this
all too well. Anyway, I also liked it because it was just the right fit.
Finding fitting clothes for a frame like mine isn’t always easy. Either the
T-shirt sleeves are too flappy or they are too clingy(excuse the pun). That is
to say the T-shirt fits my arms and torso well but resembles more of a crop
top. This tee however, was just the right fit, sleeves and length were just
right.
We enjoyed good memories, me and that tee. The Amazing
Race event I was involved in. Hiking at Ngong. My baptism. Strathmore Sport's Day
where I channeled my inner 'Ezekiel Kemboi' to run around Madaraka. Then there
was the Man Enough camp. What didn't I do with that Tee? Good memories they
were and then it disappeared, never to be seen of again. Well that’s except for
the few pictures I have of myself wearing it. God knows I would have struggled
consigning that T-shirt to Mopping rag status.
It can be hard letting go of some clothing items
that we hold dear to us. Clothes that have perhaps played an integral
part in shaping our personality and individuality. Clothes with which we have
enjoyed cherished memories. As inevitable as the parting of ways seems to be,
it doesn’t make it any less easy.
For the man or lady who accepts Christ as their
Lord and saviour, they put on a new self. Jesus clothes them with his
righteousness so that before God they are justified, that is to say made just
as if they had never sinned.
That’s some pretty good clothing to flaunt if you
ask me. Clothing to wear over and over again. Clothing that to God, spells out,
“Holy, pure, flawless.” Clothing that is not mitumba but original, the real
deal, not some cheap imitation.
New clothes are especially attractive when they
provide what our old ones couldn’t. When our old clothes are too loose, or too
tight, when they have tears, when they crease easily or lose their bright hue,
we really yearn for new clothes.
Yet despite all that, we hold on to our old sinful
self and occasionally ditch the apparel Jesus gave us in favour of our old
sinful self. Even despite being destined for the dumpster, we still give those
clothes a stay of execution. Maybe because we struggle to let go and move on.
Maybe because we believe wearing them will still make us fulfilled, assertive,
influential, popular, and attractive. Our old clothes promise us things.
Sin makes us promises as well.
Grandiose promises. Sin promises us satisfaction. It promises us
that insisting on our right to an apology will free us when it in fact enslaves
us. It promises us that just one lustful glance or thought will
bring us the sexual pleasure we so desperately need when it in fact leads us to
bondage. After that lust or fantasy, one chokes with guilt and regret when they
come face to face with either the object of their lust or a man or woman well
worthy of their chivalry.
It promises us that a slothful snooze
will give us the much needed rest we need only for us to wake up and play
catch up for the majority of the day. .It promises that alcohol binge will be
the tonic to the pressures of work, school, family only to have us do things we
later on regret in our drunken stupor and living in dependency.
Afterwards we find out, tulicheswa, tuliconniwa. We
experience pleasure and comfort for only a moment or better yet, a fraction of
a moment. But what our old sinful self does so well is that it give us 'accessories'
aside from the pleasure or comfort we craved. It drapes our necks with a
garland of guilt, defilement and dishonor. It pierces our ears with
accusations. It bedecks our entire being with labels of addict, drunk,
has-been, hypocrite. Our sin robs us of our dignity and we feel reduced to a
loaf of bread. A pang of self-condemnation hangs over us like a thick cloud. We
feel it hovering over us at every turn, and raining down on us torrents
of despair.
Like those old clothes in your wardrobe, that just
gather up moss and dust, you know should dispel with them. You know you don’t
need them, after all, they've been languishing in that wardrobe for who knows
how long. Yet we persist with them. We persist with sin. We go back to
the false promises of the sinful self. The promises that just leave us
empty and used.
Christ’s clothing is much more chic. You know it’s
much more comfortable. Much more bespoke to your individuality. God tailors
his righteousness not to conceal your flaws but to accentuate them with
his grace. Christ's clothing makes you find your worth in him irrespective of
your mistakes.
Why is it so hard to let go? Maybe it's because of
my sinful nature. Maybe it's because I like sin. I like the pleasure and
the comfort. Oh if only I got to a point of trusting God more. If only I got to
a point of seriously believing that, "at his right hand are
pleasures forever more."(Psalms 16:11KJV)
That is my walk and the walk of every other
believer until God glorifies me when he calls me home. It's a mistaken ideal that
once you give your life to Jesus, struggle with sin is a thing of the past.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. The perpetual battle with the old sinful
way of life only escalates. Being made into a new creation isn't just a
one-time event, it is a gradual process. A life-long one fleeing the clutches
of the old sinful self.
When Adam and Eve brought sin into the world, they
needed God to cloth them. Their hastily-assembled fig outfits were insufficient
and risque just as our acts of righteousness are insufficient to nullify sin. Stalwarts
like Noah, Abraham, Moses, David struggled as well. Despite being paragons of
faith, they too dallied with the sinful self through deception, anger,
drunkenness, lust amongst others. Only Jesus intervention tipped the scales in
our favour.
Christ's saving grace will help us cling to this
righteousness rather than going back to our sinful self. First it will save me
from sin's death sentence. Then over the course of my life, he will have to
continually save me from it's tempting influence. And finally, finally, when he
calls me home, I will be saved from it's pestering presence. The closet will be
fully redeemed and I will don his holiness proper, a celestial robe reflective
of his glory.
