It's in the script

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"Hadithi, hadithi, hadithi njoo"

"Hadithi, hadithi, hadithi njoo"

"Hapo zamani za kale...," the narrator would begin, as we craned our necks, steadied our gaze on him and listened as if our lives depended on it. As kids, we loved stories, and as adults we still do, there's plenty of evidence on show to prove it. Autobiographies or biographies fly off the shelves, Gossip sites are never short on traffic, Movie theaters always draw a reasonable crowd. The script may have changed but we still possess the same child-like enthusiasm for a story. There's just something so captivating and enticing about them.

While it may be fun to listen to a story, it's equally delightful to be in one and tell it, and today I share that privilege. My story dates back 2011, I was a young, undergrad student, fresh from finishing my second year of University. I was on the lookout for an attachment. Did I mention I was desperate? Well I was. I was on a 3 month break till school resumed for the next semester. Before then, I was required to do a 12-week internship. One month into the break, I still hadn't secured an attachment. That's not to say, I hadn't been trying. I had been invited for some interviews. Not one but two. The first being at Panafric Hotel, which didn't go too bad but I lost my phone immediately after the interview and I didn't do a followup to see if I got in. 

The second was at Sankara, which was a disaster, and I was not at all surprised that they didn't get back to me. Being the gentleman I was, I was courteous enough not to get back to them for obvious reasons. By this time, panic had set in. Time was whittling away and I hadn't even began, it became evident that I wouldn't do 12 weeks before the new semester started but far worse, was the unthinkable probability that I wouldn't do the attachment at all. Disaster. Unparalleled disaster. That would seriously jeopardize my chances of graduating, but then, a lifeline came. My sister managed to talk to a friend, who was then a director of a hotel, and we arranged for an interview. "Has to be third time lucky", I thought to myself.

The interview was scheduled for 9am, mistake no 1: I arrived late, very late, 9:30 late, Did I mention that the Director had a European background? So you get the picture now. I was hopeful that maybe she was involved in some meeting that ate into my scheduled time with her and so she wouldn't mind much. I was wrong, very wrong. The alarm bells were well and truly off when the Front Desk agent realized my predicament. "You were supposed to see her at 9:00?" he asked with a bemused look on his face. He then glanced at his watch and was rather apprehensive, an ominous, foreboding kind of apprehensive, even if he wasn't the one that was late. I seriously had it coming. 

He asked me to wait before summoning a porter to escort me to the Director's office. I didn't wait too long before the porter arrived. He ushered me away, as we navigated a couple of hallways before we finally reached her office. He greeted her and then beckoned me to come in before hastily departing. She looked easygoing, so I thought. Clutching my CV and application paper in her hands, she initiated what would be my shortest interview to date with these words, "You don't know how to write a CV or an application letter, and then you come 30 minutes later..I'm sorry I can't give you this opportunity." she tersely said. Mic drop. Just like that, my hopes of securing an attachment were gone and she was in no mood to give me a chance to explain, not that I really had any. Thus, I picked up the shards of my self esteem and was on my way, thoroughly despondent.

I once cried a river  after Manutd had only been beaten 1-0 by Liverpool at Old Trafford, God knows that I felt like crying then. I wore the longest face, as I trudged out of that hotel.  Despair does not even begin to describe my state of mind. I made it to Strathmore University, valiantly holding back the tears, and I begrudgingly told my course administrator that I wasn't going to secure an attachment. I then proceeded to spend the remaining weeks at home, not knowing my fate, unsure that I would graduate....

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.....As much as I toyed with the idea of having a part 2 to this blog post, I will spare you and continue my story. My childhood is rife with instances when this dreaded 3-word black screen appeared and the episode in question would never be continued. I mean who does that really.... who does that?!!! You just had to leave us with the suspense and wait a week later to see how it all played out. All you would get is the credits rolling and a news bulletin thereafter. Why didn't they ever have a 'to be continued' for the news I wondered back then. "Why couldn't they fit it all in one episode?"

My questions were never answered and so not wanting anyone to go through the harrowing experiences of my childhood, I will continue

...so there I was, at home, instead of being on an attachment, wondering whether I would graduate. I spent the remainder of my now enforced holiday, miserable and definitely not at peace, before returning to the University to begin my first semester of 3rd year. During the first few weeks, almost every lecturer wanted to know how we fared during the internship and would not begin the lecture without first inquiring from each and every student about their internship experience.  Everyone had an answer except me. This was surprising for a number of the reasons.

One, I was the class chop, the undisputed Index one,  the guy who would finish his exam 30 minutes before time, mic drop. You could say I was that guy who got an A regardless of Fred Matiangi or not. I was also the good guy, one could say I was the teacher's pet in a way. So it came as a shock, that I of all people didn't do an attachment.

Interestingly, a classmate had secured an internship at Panafric and was rather surprised I never reported there for work as she acquired info that I had actually aced the interview at Panafric. Maybe it was because I lost my phone after the interview that they couldn't get back to me. Fact was, though, I never did any internship and even the news that I did pass the interview was scant consolation.

I was low on confidence and self-esteem as a result. I really wondered whether I would graduate. I was stressed up about it. It therefore came as no surprise that a few months later, I contracted a condition known as Vertigo. Vertigo, being an illness, where one has an imbalance in the ear, and experiences constant dizziness. I felt as if the world was spinning, and it wasn't easy walking straight. I had to take around 2 weeks off from campus.The doctor attributed it to stress and I made up my mind that I would go on a one year study leave if I didn't get another attachment after 3rd year ended. 

I was put on medication and it didn't seem to cause any marked improvement. I only got better when the doctor recommended I do a set of simple exercises 3 times daily that included moving my head from side to side, moving my eyes from side to side moving my back and forth, staring into space among others. It was extremely simple and it was mighty effective because weeks later, I was OK. I thought I needed surgery but who knew a few simple exercises would get me back on track.

Third year would eventually end and like the year before, my sister managed to get in touch with a friend at a different hotel and this time I was early for the interview and I got the internship. After 12 weeks of the internship, my confidence was back, in fact it came with an added personality. I became super-talkative. I had no qualms of being a class representative for the second time. To make matters even better, my aunt gave me a laptop and now I could access the local area internet at campus with ease instead of hustling looking for labs. Life had indeed taken a turn for me. Then it took another turn. A turn for the worse.

Despite being the class representative for the best part of 2 years, and one of my responsibilities being to communicate any grievances my classmates would have of the exam timetable, I did the unthinkable; I got the times of my last exam very wrong.

The last exam of the semester was to be at 8am, I thought it was to be at 2pm. I had the habit of arriving right on time for my exam and not 15 minutes because I  didn't like that last minute group discussion of possible questions before an exam. I usually arrived right on time or slightly late to avoid it. Therefore, my classmates had no reason to suspect there was something amiss when they were frisked and ushered into the exam room and I wasn't there. They surely did when I hadn't arrived and the exam was over. All the while I was at home reading for an exam I thought was at 2pm but had in fact ended. I got a call from a classmate and she asked me why I had missed the exam. I was stunned into silence.

It was the shock of my life. I couldn't believe it. She explained to me that the paper started at 8am, and ended at 10. I can't remember what I replied back, but  my head was literally spinning from the news. I took another look at the timetable just to be sure and I realized it was true, the exam was at 8. There was an exam at 2 all right, being invigilated by the same lecturer but it was for the 2nd years. I couldn't believe this was happening.

Exam timetables usually come in one or two drafts before the final timetable and I remembered that in the first draft, the exam was slated for the last Friday at 2pm. A good number of my classmates weren't up for that and insisted I ask the faculty to push it forward, which I did. When the next draft came out, my classmates looked at it and said they was no change. They were right, the exam hadn't been pushed forward, it was still on Friday, but, they were also wrong, there was a slight change. It was no longer at 2pm but at 8am. I didn't notice that and it would prove to be a fatal mistake. I ended up missing the exam altogether much to my consternation.


I rushed to the University desperately hoping the lecturer would permit me to do the exam at 2 pm, but that would not materialize. Instead I was told to hope that the Evening Class whose exams were due the next month had the same unit in the exam roster and I could do a retake. Failure for that to occur, meant that I would have to wait till 2015 to do the exam and hopefully graduate in 2016, 3 years after my intended graduation!!!

I was crestfallen. How could I stupidly blow away my chances of graduating by failing to look at a timetable? I prayed that the evening class was scheduled to do that exam a month later but still told God I would accept the 2015 option if push came to shove. I left it all in his hands and waited.

A few days later. I was at it again. I lost my laptop. It was in my bag when I left it at the luggage section of a supermarket, on reaching home around 2 hours later. I discovered it was missing. What was all this?!!! I missed an exam, then I lose my laptop. Things were going downhill at a frightening rate. Worse was that I hadn't finished my project proposal which was due in 2-3 weeks.

Fortunately prior to the loss, I had been using my gmail account as an additional backup drive, and I had saved my progress. Fortunately moreover, I had the habit of writing things down before typing them, and so I was able to type my literature review from a written draft and subsequently generate a satisfactory list of sources for my proposal.

Then God gave me a lifeline. The Unit I missed was being examined after all. In December 2012, I thus was able to sit for the paper with the evening class and score a satisfactory grade. Months after that and slightly after the election of 2013, I had finished my coursework and my project, there was now the small matter of an attachment I didn't do after my second year. So, while every fourth year was waiting to graduate, I was doing an internship at Fairmont The Norfolk hotel. In order to ensure I met the deadline of all my marks being submitted one month prior to graduation my supervisor carried out  an early evaluation of my attachment so that I could be graded in good time.

Everything was going fine, till I realized again, rather belatedly that for a graduand to graduate, a convocation fee had to be paid, and for the convocation to be paid, clearance had to be done which involved going to a host of deparmennts to obtain a signature and a stamp. Unfortunately, because I didnt bother to fully read an email,(what's with me and failing to read stuff?) my course administrator sent, I only knew of this when attempting to pay for the convocation fee on the deadline for paying for the convocation and it was only a few minutes to 5pm.

I scampered across the University, clearance form in tow, rushing to get stamps and signatures from various department heads, but by the time I was through and ready to pay for the convocation fees, it was close to 7pm and the guy at Finance told me it was too late, I could only pay for my convocation on Monday. The deadline was that very same Friday. That was a death sentence because my university was big on deadlines and since now I didn't meet the deadline, I didn't have much hope of graduating again.

I prayed again, leaving all things to God, and acknowledged his will to be done. Come Monday, I paid the convocation fees , 3 days after the deadline and left it all to God. God,was merciful again because a few weeks later, the graduation list came out and my name was the fist one in my faculty's list. Phew!!! 8-4-4 was done, amidst all the odds. On June 28 2013, I was conferred with a Bachelor of Science in Hospitality Management, to cap of a very dramatic last 2 years at Strathmore University. In addition to celebrating my feat, my Aunt gave me a tablet, and in a way the pain of losing a laptop was erased

Next year, January 2014, I was catching up with my cousin, and she was surprised to learn I had worked at Norfolk. She then asked if I knew a certain chef she had encountered while she supplied stuff to the hotel. I told her I didn't. She mentioned he was an eccentric guy who struck terror among staff with his antics. He was an explosive character in the kitchen, few were spared from his wrath.

It seemed he wasn't working there when I was on attachment and on hearing her testimony, I was glad I never met him. Then, one day, as I read a list of Taste Award nominees, I noticed his name, not as a representative of Norfolk, but another hotel, the same hotel where I was promptly dismissed for lateness and a poor application. I was gobsmacked. I wanted that attachment so bad, to think that had I got it I would be working with such a volatile chef; me,  full of nerves because it would be my first attachment in the presence of such a chef; suddenly, I actually thanked God I didn't get the attachment. Suddenly, it dawned on me, that perhaps God was protecting me from him as he saw my temperament then wouldn't handle him. Suddenly, it hit me, I had practically experienced that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.(Romans 8:28)

And I lived happily ever after....well not exactly, but something close to that. My story is still continuing, even as I write this story, I am still the main character of my story which God is writing or should I say has written. All the above was God's script, laden with an incredible number of twists and turns, but his script ultimately proved good for me when it came to the end of my time at Strathmore.

As a character in his script of my life, in real time, things looked bleak to me. When I didn't get my attachment after 2nd Year, I could not see into the future to the period of 4th year I would do it at Norfolk. God already did. He had also seen an alternate reality of me with an eccentric chef and it didn't look pretty and so he protected me from it, even when I didn't see it and wanted that attachment so bad

When I lost my laptop, I couldn't see a future of completing my proposal and then my project the next year but God did and even saw my future with a tablet.

When I missed an exam, and could only see myself redoing the paper in 2015, God had already seen the future of me resitting the paper a month later.

When I couldn't see how my vertigo could be cured by just exercise, he did. I learnt that God could heal me without necessarily having to go for surgery or through medication. This lesson came in handly later on, as without medication or surgery, I had the faith to believe I could get healing from a condition known only as eosinophilic dermatitis that plagued me for a couple of years. I did get healed, and it is unlikely I would have gotten so without the experience of the Vertigo.

My myopic vision as a character in his script was not the point, His dynamic vision as the Author of my story was. Not only did he see my past and my present, he saw my future, all alternate versions of it because he is an all-knowing God.

I guess he proved to me fully that he was the author and perfecter of my faith as cited in Hebrews 12:2. In his wisdom, he though it prudent to develop me as a character and so he allowed me to go through these trials  so that I could grow and also develop a relationship of trust in him for times I would it need later. It was through these experiences that I encountered a God who is trustworthy, and I could respond to him in faith and trust.

I encountered a God who could heal even when doctors couldn't trace the route of my problem. I encountered a God who could make a way for me to graduate when there seemed there was none.

Sometimes we live life complaining that things are tough. We live life unhappy when we are beset by a number of problems. We wonder why doors are shut in our face, why relationships we desire never take shape. Why people never change for the better? In our limited perspective we only see adversity that we don't feel we deserve, but Gods's perspective is that even despite the adversity, his glory can be made known. Through the trials or long waiting period, he is developing your character so that you can handle what he will throw your way in the future.

Don't fret when your life seems to be on standby mode. Don't be anxious when your hit a supposed dead end. Don't get agitated when your life takes a turn for the worse. These responses may not be second nature but that's what the Holy Spirit is there for. That is the gist of Philippians 4:13, the power through Christ to do things that are second in nature to us;to trust him in the face of adversity

He may not win a Nobel prize or an Oscar but he is certainly up there when it comes to writing super scripts, and so even if we don't know the end to our story, he definitely does. They say it's over when the fat lady sings, God says it's over when he deems it to be over not us. Ours is to trust him, the author and perfecter of our faith, and as Francesca Battisteli sang, allow him to write his story in our hearts, even if it comes with twists and turns galore.

Light at the end of the tunnel

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Ordinarily, I would be among those strident voices criticizing ethnicity. I wouldn't be caught dead asking which tribe do you hail from. Matter of fact, I would sigh and roll my eyes  in exasperated frustration at the sight of another politician calling their tribesmen to vote as a tribal bloc. However, there are times when I delight in identifying with my ethnic community. Not to propagate the belief that we are superior to another group but to instead to delight in a particular positive characteristic associated with my tribe that should be replicated by other Kenyans. This just happens to be one of those times.

I am a Luhya. A pure one, when you consider both my parents hail from that group but also a fake one, since I don't speak any dialect. The shame. I know, it's why a call myself a Luhya from Kawangware. Anywho, a positive characteristic synonymous of my community is the deep regard we have for the handshake.

To the common-folk, a handshake is just a handshake, but to the Luhya it is so much more. It is a way of conveying genuine hospitality, warmth and heartfelt gratitude that is mirrored in the exuberance and the length of the handshake. One does not simply outstretch their hand to another and briefly shake their hand, No, that won't cut it for us. The Luhya way, is to use your left hand to place the other person's hand in a lock position and then use the right hand to vigorously shake the hand of this long-lost acquaintance. Preferably this should be done for a period not exceeding a minute. At the very least half a minute. All the while, you barrage your long lost acquaintance with a series of 'Mulembes or mulembe-munos' or "Bhusheres/Bhushere-munos" or "Orio-munos", whichever is most appropriate.

This handshake is a gesture that many city folk will encounter from their rural counterparts when they head back to UK(United Kakamega) or BG (Bungoma) or whichever part of Western Province during Christmas. This December, I can say I am definitely having the same Luhya kind of thankfulness and exuberance to God for how faithful he has been to me this year.

For one, unlike previous Decembers, which have gone by with me carrying the burden of another year of tarmacking and without work, this year will see me remembering God finally removing me from the slimy pit of unemployment and giving me a firm rock of a job on which to stand on. Sure, it was a temporary 3-month contract, but I'm very thankful to God for it. For 3 years, the work experience section on my CV was blank. For 3 years, I had to endure not knowing what to say when a family member or friend asked me, "What are you up to? What's new? Where are you now days?" For 3 years I had to look on seeing guys on Linkedin with impressive job titles, seeing friends on Facebook get married, some going to Baby no.2 while I just stagnated. I was jobless, cash-less, bae-less just but to mention a few.

It was tough but God is faithful though. After 3 years the wait was over, and to prove himself provident, my 3 year long wait for a job ended on my birthday. Matthew 7:10 cites God being a father who gives good gifts to his children who ask him. It's hard for me to argue with that since he gave me the exact birthday gift I yearned for; a job.

A job that had my name written on it from the get go. Upon arriving for my interview, it dawned on me after some minutes of waiting that I was the only applicant for the interview. That gave me the world of confidence. Then during the interview, there was no "so tell me about yourself....where do you see yourself in five years?...why should we employ you?". None of that. I didn't even have to worry about negotiating for a salary!!!

It was straight to the point as I was briefed on the duties I was expected to perform and the nature of the job. As I'm being interviewed, i'm thinking,"Lord, sh 30k or 35k, 40k, that would be good for me to support my family with paying the bills, upgrade my wardrobe kidogo, kidogo,hivi-hivi."Bang on cue,  my interviewer then brought an inward Cheshire grin on my face when she said, "Your salary will be 35,000 and I know its little..." In my mind, "Little?!!! Not to me, that's awesome I will very much take it". At long last, KRA could finally demand something from me and next year it wouldn't be business as usual which was filing NIL returns. And it doesn't end there.... I was to be given a monthly meal allowance that meant I would eat more than my fair share of sausages, bacon, chocolate doughnuts than I would care to imagine. The job also provided me with the opportunity to check-off items on my food-bucket list such as lasagna, moussaka, and shepherd's pie.

The job meant I had access to the Library so I finally got my hands on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. Boy, what a book that was! In addition, it so happened my colleague at the office had a soft-copy of the Purpose driven life by Rick Warren, another book I had been dying to read, and I was thoroughly blessed by reading it as well. Friday, being the last working day of the week as stipulated in my contract meant every week I had a really long, relaxing weekend to recharge. Who could ask for more?

God was really on the top of his game when it came to giving. He blessed me big time and I was mighty thankful for it. I was though more thankful for the 3-year wilderness period without a job. "Huh?!!!Ken, you're thankful for 3 years without a job?" Yes I am. Yes I am, because 3 years without a job, was more than compensated for by 3 years with an ever-present God who was my rock, my peace and my comfort in the midst of it. When you hit rock-bottom is when you look up and God is there to meet you gaze, He doesn't disappoint thereafter. He was there for me.

I recall the moments I sat in a bus, or as I was at home, thinking like David, "How long, LORD, how long?" How long was I to waste away? How long for me to celebrate others before I celebrate myself? How long before I can move out, before I can think of pursuing a girlfriend, how long before I can have a son?

Many times I felt despair. Many times I lost my self-worth.  My first-class degree became less of an indication of my merit but more of a plain piece of paper. I didn't feel at all as a man, I felt life was passing me by and I had a lot of growing up to do even if I was growing older. God, though reassured me of my identity in Christ. He encouraged me through his word day after day, through family, through friends. He was my peace even when I was just mark-timing and others around me were progressing in their careers. I never had to down my sorrows with copious amounts of booze. I didn't have to reach out for coke or weed to lift my spirits. God's peace was enough. God was my comfort by just reading his word and going on my knees to pray to him. The worries of an uncertain future and the disappointment of an uneventful present would do a vanishing act at the mention of 'Amen'. God became very real to me in that 3 year period more than I could ever have imagined. It was when I was wrestling with doubt, insecurity, hopelessness that God proved himself my assurance, my hope, my comforter and peace and I can't thank him enough. God was with me.

Emmanuel was the name to be given to the baby Jesus because it meant God with us.  It's a name that Jesus more than lived up to for me in these 3 years. He never promised it would be easy, he never promised it would all smooth sailing but he assured he would be with us. I think that's light for the tunnel for a host of  Christians. I think that's why we celebrate Jesus at Christmas every December in spite of us not knowing the exact death of his birth. We can be certain that even in trials, difficulties, long-waiting periods we can be there. It could be argued that he couldn't have been born in the Middle East in December, but surely, for the hope he give us  amidst difficulty, for the strength he give us to overcome adversity, for the freedom he give us when we were enslaved to wickedness, to look back and be grateful for how faithful God was during the year is cause for celebration of his birth in December? No matter how dark, bleak and lonely the tunnels we go through are, we can have hope that Jesus is with us and that He will lead us to light eventually.


That just about wraps up my one minute of me shaking God's imaginary hand. I'll be sure to shake his hand more often than not because He is a faithful God. He has done it once, he is bound to do it again.

Time to go men-tal

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Just like that, poof!! 2016 gone. New year's eve may be about 30 days away, but one can't help feeling that the year is as good as over.

Last month happened to be that time of the year when the dreaded ACS ravages the Gunners. For those unfamiliar with the acronym, ACS is short for Arsenal Chocking Syndrome, a highly contagious condition that has dogged Arsenal and their long suffering fans for years. ACS although not life-threatening, has proved fatal, killing Arsenal's chances of bagging that elusive EPL or Champion's league trophy year after year.

The onset of ACS is usually a second-place finish in the group stage of the Champions league. Barring a spectacular last day collapse from PSG, this looks likely to be the same case once again. A scarcely deserved 2-2 draw at home to PSG ensured the first stage of ACS was well and truly underway. To their credit, at least they didn't put their fans through the usual last day drama, thanks to Ozil's sublime piece of magic in Bulgaria a few weeks ago. However, a failure to beat PSG means even a win in their last game might not be enough to avoid a second place finish. Thus in all likelihood, Arsenal await either one of Barcelona, Borussia Dortmund, Real Madrid, Atletico Madrid to give them a befitting send off in the round of 16. Thankfully, no Bayern this time, so we will have to make due without seeing Douglas Costa making a fool of Bellerin.

The next stage of ACS is a poor run of form in the league. A home draw to Tottenham was Arsenal's first wobble in November. After the international break, it was a trip to Old-Trafford, which had all the hallmarks of a typical November performance; lethargic, ponderously bereft of ideas in attack, Ozil and Walcott gone missing, this was ACS all-right. Then Mata scored and another defeat to United was the only likely outcome. Arsenal though showed they are taking the fight to ACS, and with their only shot on target coming in the 89th minute, they scored an equalizer through Giroud to leave Old Trafford with a point. A barely deserved point, but a point nonetheless.

A week later, they easily dispatched Bournemouth to ensure ACS may just be a thing of the past. Maybe, just maybe this could be there year. Hang on...that's what  I said that last year...and the year before that...and the year before that..I feel it is in my best interest to stay clear from this prediction talk lest I be proved wrong...again.

On the same day Giroud spared Arsenal's blushes against Manutd, men were supposed to be celebrated for it was International Men's day. Women's day, Mother's day and Father's day are days in the calendar that never passed by unnoticed, this one did.

It's like even the guys had no idea it was men's day. I was too busy lamenting Giroud's late equalizer and a 3rd consecutive draw for Manutd at Old Trafford to even care. Everyone seemed to be mum about the whole thing. Facebook was quiet, real quiet, no selfies with guys, no #men's day as status updates, no-nothing. Perhaps this November, with Donald Trump winning the election despite that infamous video just before the ballot, and Miguna Miguna incurring the wrath of a majority of the female population with his  rape comments towards Esther Passaris, men had this coming.

These two illustrated the ugly side of men, it would be nice if they were only a few other cases of men behaving badly. Sadly they aren't. They are plenty more incidences of men whose acts and speech have had women and children pulling their hair out in frustration. It makes one wonder how a man could turn up so horribly wrong since men weren't born bad, they are made. The likely causes are numerous.

An absentee father or lack of a father-figure in the man's life when he was a kid growing up. An abusive father who eroded his confidence or made the man grow up to be violent and abusive as a result of his childhood experiences. Controlling parents who demanded perfection and constantly deemed their child's efforts as unsatisfactory till he grew up to be a man who gave up trying as he thought it would only lead up to more criticism. The tragic loss of a mum, sister, brother or friend could turn a good man's world upside down. A failed business, a job lay-off, the realization that a lady cheated on him or was just using him or rejected him and labelled him, "not man enough", an accident that left a man disabled, all the above could have a destructive impact on a man's life. Sadly we men don't realize how hurt or messed up we are as a result, and only figure it out, after we've left a trail of broken hearts amongst scores of women, family and close friends.

Who can forget the company we keep. Sometimes our boys are our downfall. The negative peer pressure takes it toll, and we end up compromising our values just to fit in. The boys are who gives us a sense of belonging, who accept us when few do, who affirm us for our actions when so many don't, even if our deeds are questionable or against the law.

A man with an 'i got this, lone ranger' mentality or 'I know it all, buda na huyu mzae anajua nini' type of thinking isn't any better. I've played as a lone striker, it's not as easy as it looks. You almost always have 2 burly central defenders for company who will stop at nothing to keep you quiet. They're constantly in your face, sticking to you like glue, pushing and shoving  you if need be. That's how life can be when you go it alone. In your face, pushing and shoving, ready to drag you down to your knees.You either have to overcome the odds or raise the white flag. When life injures a man and he raises the white flag, it's not that hard to tell.

You'll have him retaliating violently or explosively at the slightest provocation. You will have guys who take to alcohol or drugs to deaden their sorrow or pain. You'll see a guy changing women as frequently as he changes clothes. You will see another one always keen on getting the attention of the ladies, too eager to be the nice, sweet and charming guy. Then there are those like myself, who become laid-back, withdrawn, passive. We are mediocre at best, because we give up trying as a result of constantly being found wanting.

We can't do it alone. Like Proverbs 27:17, " As Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." How, true, especially when we life blunts us. King Solomon also recognized that when he said in Ecclesiastes 4:11, "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no-one to help him up!"

Men need men to be good men or better men. A helper in a wife is good, but a brother is just as important if not more. You need a friend to connect with. You need a brother to  encourage you when the chips are really down, to stand by you when everyone else deserts you. You need a brother who will push you to work for your dreams, chide you for giving just 70% and push you to go all out with 100% like a brother so determined for you to leave team one-pack till he'll have you doing crunches with so much exertion that toxic, pungent fumes diffuse from your posterior as you do heave and puff and  literally blow the house down with one more rep.

You need a brother for the good times like graduations, job promotions, weddings, the birth of a child,  to watch football together and then sit motionless with your head in arms as a version of the mannequin challenge to compensate for the frustration of watching Manutd dominate and then draw for the umpteenth time.

You need a guy to be brutally honest with you and tell you to your face, "Bro, we ni boyz, lakini I'll be real with you, You can't sing to save your life, don't go for those auditions." That way, he spares the judges from crashing your dreams in a much more crude manner and he also spares you the shame of clocking 1,000,000 hits on YouTube for all the wrong reasons. You need a brother who won't hesitate to tell you that you are spending too much time on Fifa 17 or that you're spending needless money on Sportpesa.

You need a brother to share the bad-times as well, to be there for you when you get a flat, to be there for you when you need bail from prison, to be there for you to pick up the pieces after the unexpected loss of your dad, mum, brother and help you give them a decent send-off. You not only need someone to share your burdens but also  to share a vulnerably spirit burdened by a nagging iniquity or sin.

I recall oft, how I've had to bare it all. "Vipi bro, I  confess today I was team-mafisi looking at cleavages and thighs in town, pray for me." Or, "Hey man, last night, I was lusting at pics of her on the internet as well as her WhatsApp pic, pray for me." Or,  "Hey bro, I'm struggling with bitterness and being cynical towards other believers who are christians chini ya maji, pray for me to be patient with others." It's not always easy to admit one's struggles but the lack of peace I have when I keep my sins to myself is not worth it. Nothing beats the peace that comes from confessing to a brother, I feel at peace with God, righteous even, perhaps justifying James 5:16, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

Then I need a much bigger brother, an older man, some might say a mentor, I prefer discipler. A man who has gone ahead of me in life and can guide me from his achievements and failures. A man full of wisdom that has come from years of experience. A man, whom when I see in a lady, big car, big bust, big bum, he says big NO to her being a suitable wife for me. This is a man who can prepare me for marriage, for fatherhood, for being an elder and one whose wisdom can pass me by if I just regard older men as senile and old-fashioned, unaware of the new trends.

However, it's not enough to desire a brother or a discipler, I need to be one myself!!! Jim Rohn stated that, "You are who you attract." Therefore to attract this kind of a brother, I need to be the one who is supportive, I need to be the one who is loyal, who is there for his friend during the good times and bad. I need to be wise, honest and able to disciple younger men, I need to be the accountability partner who listens to his brother confessing and prays for him.I need to be the man who is brutally honest and rebukes a brother when need be, for he who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue(Proverbs 29:23). Besides, better is open rebuke than hidden love(Proverbs 27:5)

To become this kind of man, I have taken a leaf from a man who has no equal when it comes to perfect masculinity. His name was Jesus, and he was the man, par excellence. He was the man who loved God so much that he considered his food to be doing the will of his father and finishing his work.(John 4:34) He was a man so wise, that by the time he was a tween, guys at the temple could only marvel at how knowledgeable he was. He was a man who was powerful enough to raise people form the dead, but unlike men who have absolute power and end up being corrupted absolutely, he was humble. He had a humility that didn't see the need to grasp equality with God whereas many of us swell with pride  feel we ought to be demi-gods in the eyes of our subordinates at work.

He was a man who talked tough, who wasn't afraid to challenge or rebuke people who needed rebuking but who was still compassionate to the less-fortunate, the marginalized and the downtrodden of the society. A man who respected women and didn't treat women like dirt even if those very same women felt they were nothing but dirt. A man who was selfless, and didn't feel the need to show the whole world revolved around him, even if in actual sense the whole world does revolve around him. He sacrificed himself, his own life, just so we wouldn't have to be condemned for the many times we failed as men, but obtain forgiveness and reconciliation to God by virtue of believing him to be the saviour of the world and accepting him as such in our lives.

Christ was not just a man, he was THE man.  The goal  for me and for many other God-loving men is to become like Christ and  that's why I need all the help I get in form of brothers by my side and being a brother to others.

Over and above, growing a beard during November, I felt a compulsion to start a discipleship group for men, to help them become more Christ-like and to get help from them to become more Christ-like. As men we need each other, we need affirmation, we need encouragement, we need to feel accepted and a sense of belonging, we need to be honest or authentic and vulnerable around fellow men whom we can trust and share our failures not for condemnation but encouragement or as a lesson  for someone else. We need to inspire each other, motivate each other and be there each other so that we can see and do things that will have others see Jesus in us. Don't be a lone ranger, Don't sit on your gift of leadership, Don't just watch as younger men flounder in life due to an absence of guidance and don't think that the elderly guy in church can't help you. Get involved in one way or another so that being Christ-like will be easier done than said as opposed to being easier said than done.

He got this

Photo credit: www.roots-of-truth.com

First Brexit, now Trump, who knows, next Arsenal will be winning the EPL. Jokes aside, this remarkable turn of events has caught the world by surprise. Who knew it would come to this, certainly not, a wide section of the media and political analysts, pundits e.t.c. These outcomes were supposed to be improbable, so they said. Come D-day, they were proved wrong, terribly wrong.

The scarcely unthinkable is now a reality, one which we will just have to accept and move on. Whatever your opinions are about Trump or Brexit, you can agree with me, that we live in very interesting times, messed up even. Front-line headlines, you-tube videos, blog posts continue to document the bedlam as it unfolds. Sensationalist utterances by politicians, grand theft of money, the celebration of one undergoing a sex change, a student taking a drug in the hope of passing a national examination, for many things have hit rock bottom. Amidst the chaos, we are compelled to look up, fists clenched, crying out, "God, why don't you do something?!!!"

On the other hand, an atheist's conviction will only be emboldened, "There is no God, if so, how can he permit such decadence to occur at such a grand scale?" A second line of thought is to conclude that God is not as mighty as Christians claim him to be, but he is in fact a toothless God.

In the face of such adversity, these schools of thought are inevitable. As Syria, continues to be decimated by war, ISIS still looming large, South Sudan being on the precipice of destruction, it is hard to depict God as a God who is loving, merciful, gracious, peaceful.

As incredulous as it may sound, God is in control. As much as there is a bucketload of evidence all around us to suggest the contrary, God is still sovereign, God's got this. He isn't pacing up and down in heaven, distraught and tongue-tied that his good plans for this world have gone bust. I make this absurd claim because if there is anything that history has shown us, it is that history repeats itself.

For every Trump or Brexit, there has been far, far worse in Herod, Nero, Hitler, Israel splitting into two kingdoms, Exile to Babylon. Did God's chosen nation splitting signal the end of God's plan? Did the zealous persecution of Christians by Herod and Nero or Jews by Hitler put a stop to  the gospel of Salvation by Christ to all mankind?

The answer is negative. The gospel still spreads, it still impacts lives, scores of people continue to put their hope in Jesus with every passing day. Nero's efforts could not stifle God's agenda. Israel, still is on the global map, despite the gloomy split of the past.

A vast majority of the time, we lean on God's attributes as a God who is loving, who is forgiving, who is gracious, sometimes we may forget that this God is almighty, sovereign, infinitely powerful. It's easy to mistake him for toothless when he opts not to show his vast power and rid the world of evil in an instant. It's easy to label him docile when immorality and corruption are rampant. It's easy to lose sight of him being the perfect judge when all-around injustices are too numerous to count.

It's hard to imagine someone as all-powerful when they just seem to be silent or passive when circumstances call for robust, immediate action. God has never been one to be easy to understand, Isaiah astutely says that his ways and thoughts are above those of our own(Isaiah 55:9). Unlike us, he isn't limited by time, space, gravity etc, he can act however he choses to act and it will yield his desired result.

I find God sovereignty and awesome power in his central quality of being love. God is love.(1 John 4:8) My guess is that is precisely why he created man in his image. He created a being, in his own image, not out of necessity or that he was imperfect and needed a being to complete him, but with the intention of relating with man in love. Love, as we know, is a commitment to the good of another person or thing. Commitment is about being dedicated or devoted to one person or thing. Commitment involves choice, since to be dedicated or devoted to someone involves deliberately foregoing other things or people and choosing, instead, to commit to that one thing or person. Plus, we know that choice involves free will, since only someone with a free will has the capacity to choose between committing or not committing, lack of a free will is compulsion/an obligation or slavery towards one specific object.

The thing that blows me away, to which I can't wrap my mind around, is that God, purposely, intentionally gave man free will to chose to love him or to chose not to. We, human beings, create stuff to do things for us, never for themselves. We create machines, devices, robots(out of necessity) to do our bidding not their bidding and it bothers us when they don't fulfill that purpose. God, on there other hand, did not need man to complete him or make him feel fulfilled, but he chose to create man with the intention of loving man and man loving him back, but since he wanted us to love him perfectly, he gave us free will to chose to love him.

Free will, means that we have the capacity to chose to love him, obey him and reflect his glory but it also means we have free will to chose to ignore him, forsake him, spite him and go against everything he stands for. Apparently, God didn't see it as a risk. He wasn't terrified by the probability that he could create man to love him but man was free to chose and could in fact end up hating God. That didn't faze him. That too me, speaks volumes of the level of power and control God wields, if he wasn't frightened at the thought of his creation going against him. That too me, says all there is to know, God is in control and nothing that occurs here on earth really surprises him, neither is it too much for him to handle despite him not choosing to do so.

To me, that is scary, scary in a good way because I used the free will he gave me to chose to love him and accept his son Jesus as my lord and savior, whose death and resurrection, reconciled me to this God and made it possible for me to relate with him just the same way Adam and Eve did, before the fall. Thus, I can be convinced, whether good or bad, God loves those who love him and can be trusted. In the face of adversity or difficult moments or imminent doom, like Eli, I can say, "He is the LORD; let him do what is good in his eyes."(1 Samuel 3:18)

I'm confident that this all-knowing God knows all the possibilities regarding our free will. He is sovereign and fully aware of how capable we are of being unloving towards him. This God, looks down and is powerful enough to handle anything and everything we throw his way. He may chose not to act, not because he is powerless to, but for reasons we don't know and can't really explain. With the free will he gave you, you can chose to point an accusatory finger at him, and label him as cold, distant and heartless, a God who is indifferent to our suffering and injustice desiring to punish those who reject him with an eternity in hell.

Conversely, like me, you may also wonder; why did this God create us if he didn't need us in the first place and why does he still commit to love us even when in ourselves we possess absolutely nothing to endear us to him? Why does he still commit to love us, when we forget him time and time again? Why does he continue to be patient with us like Peter inferred in 2 Peter 3:8-9.  Despite our numerous shortcomings, how do verses like Ezekiel 18: 23 stand true, which reads, "Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign LORD. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?"

My take home, from all this, is that despite the pandemonium going around, the manner which God created us, has me convinced that he is in control. For some divine reason, he is permitting the pandemonium to happen. I won't  claim to know why. What I will claim, is that he got this. Brexit, Syria, Donald Trump, he got this.  He's seated on his throne, in abundant in control, to which you can keep calm, trust him and say, "He got this."

Park the Bus

Photo Credit: Sky Sports

" We won the tie in Barcelona, but everyone talks about Barcelona winning and says we parked the bus in front of the goal. We didn't park the bus, we parked the airplane and we did it for two reasons. One, because we only had 10 men and two, because we beat them 3-1 at the San Siro, not by parking the bus, or the boat, or the airplane, but by smashing them at the San Siro."

That was typical Jose Mourinho, on the back of a dogged, resilient defensive performance by Inter Milan to eliminate Barcelona at the semi-final stages of the 2009/10 Champions League season. Critics came out in full force to condemn Mourinho and Inter's defensive approach to the game and the current united manager, in bullish fashion, delivered a fitting riposte to them. In truth, who could blame him? 3-1 up, playing with only 10 men, away, against Barcelona with more than a hour of normal time to play, playing any other way would spell doom.

Instead,  He made Inter park the bus, which is to play with a lot of men behind the ball, limit spaces at the back and defend like your lives depended on it. His tactic worked like a charm. Despite relentless pressure, Barca labored to break Inter down, the normally effervescent Messi was kept quiet, and although Pique managed to score in the last ten minutes, Inter would lose only one-nil on the night but win 3-2 on aggregate. Organized defense triumphed over phenomenal offense.

Not for the first time has this worked and neither will it be for the last time  as Mourinho proved again against Liverpool, this time as manager of Manutd. The 0-0 draw at Anfield was largely in part to United parking the bus against Liverpool, with the hosts struggling to carve out clear chances. The plan was basically the same against Chelsea, although after only 30 seconds, the plan blew up in Mourinho's face and failed even more spectacularly over the course of game as Chelsea cruised to a 4-0 drubbing of United. Perhaps parking the bus against a team also known to park the bus has a cancelling effect of the strategy; this could explain why Smalling and co's defending was so shambolic. Generally though, it is an effective strategy, and one Christians would also be wise to deploy when coming against the devil, principalities or people keen to attack their faith.

It is no secret that as Christ seeks to establish his heavenly kingdom, the forces of evil are working around the clock to counter it. They will stop at nothing to disrupt the advancement of his kingdom and this spells imminent danger for the evangelical, disciple-making, righteous, God-loving christian.

The christian must be prepared to erect a strong line of defense, he/she must be willing to park the bus at all cost, because the enemy is on the prowl, ready to attack and he doesn't play fair. Matter of fact, he has a broad arsenal of weaponry to chose from,  a diverse range of strategies to deploy and if we aren't on our guard, we will be on the losing end pure and simple.

All it takes is a momentary lapse in concentration, negligence in one single moment and you're defense line is breached(just ask Chris Smalling). The late Jim Rohn astutely stated that everything affects everything else, just the smallest neglect of a discipline, and you have started an infection, insidiously it becomes a disease ravaging your soul where you have lost the said discipline with it a crucial part of your identity.

It applies to the christian this way, on one Sunday you decide to skip church on a whim, suddenly you're skipping it for a couple of Sundays, soon you're not going to church at all. Decide to skip having a devotional in the morning in favor of reaching the office on time, soon your quite time becomes thrice every week, instead of the whole week, in the end, it becomes difficult to read your bible more than once a month in the morning.

Just a small lapse, just a small compromise and your consistency goes.  One stare at her body, one look at the raunchy video, one night of passion, one drink too many and you give the Devil a foothold to enslave you to lust, porn, sexual promiscuity, drunkenness. It always starts small. It always starts simple and then he has you hook, line and sinker.

Parking the bus, on a football pitch requires that you curb your natural attacking instincts and line up in defensive tactics. Same thing with the Christian faith. Parking the bus will sometimes require you to repress your natural tendency to focus on your self and your body's desire. Repressing your desire to ogle, to drink, to have sex. This may mean suppressing your desire to live for yourself, to focus just on advancing your career. Parking the bus, to defend your relationship with Jesus may mean saying no to a host of opportunities if those opportunities amount to you being unavailable to serve God, or to fellowship with other believers.


Naturally, we want to be secure, we want to lead a comfortable life but if attempting to secure a comfortable life means saying no to the calling Jesus has for you, no to serving the body of Christ, no to fellowship with other believers, no to using your talents, spiritual gifts and your unique personality to build up the body of Christ; then your defense line is highly vulnerable to an attack that will prevent you from experiencing a deeper intimacy with God. Evil will just use his strategy of distraction, keep you busy on your interests and divert your attention from focusing on God's interests, in the end making you a luke-warm believer or causing you to gradually drift completely away from the faith.

In the book, Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis describes how Satan can allow you to experience victory over a temptation if doing so allows you to fall into a subtle but greater temptation or bondage. Busyness, the corporate world  does just that. You may not be involved in drunkenness or sexual promiscuity or a double life as you were before but it's even better for the devil, if you're now not serving God, if you're now not witnessing, if you're now never available for fellowship, if you now never have quiet time with God. Why? Because slowly your fellowship and closeness to God through these activities dwindles, and soon, he has you isolated, and weak to submit to him in any way of his choosing.

Isolation leaves you open, therefore parking the bus will demand the opposite and require you to be involved in community. God, made man a social being, it is not good for man to be alone was not just the context for a wife, but the need for a friend, the need for community, the need to do life with somebody,which is especially true for the Christian life. This life of faith requires community, accepting Christ as one's Lord and savior inculcates one into a body of other believers and it is imperative to stay in that body.

Parking the bus, means having a strong emphasis towards fellowship. Fellowship not just being about going to church but also being active in a small group of Christians whom you study God's word with and encourage one other in your walks of faith. The defensive line formed by a group of Christians against evil is much stronger than one put up against a solitary Christian. Therefore, seek fellowship, go to church regularly and enjoy the fellowship of other believers. Be in a small group and share burdens and encouragement, aside from God's word. Have an accountability partner, to whom you should share your progress with Christ and also your stumbling so that you can muster strength to pick yourself up and start again when you fall. Alone, you will just crumble into shame and self-condemnation and the devil will have a field day accusing you primarily by magnifying your deficiencies. Park the bus by being in community and he will have a hard time breaking you down.

Parking the bus is not an option, it's a necessity. Working out your faith with fear and trembling demands it. Scripture's guide to parking the bus comes in the form of Ephesians 6:13-18 which gives us our weaponry to park the bus and stand our ground when evil comes knocking. Starting from the top is the helmet of salvation.

Evil will try to attack your head or mind, and accuse you the moment you slip back to that dreaded old habit, the moment you fall into temptation, he will be filling your mind with doubt, accusing your status as God's child. The helmet of salvation is your defense, salvation is putting your faith and trust in Jesus as the only one capable of saving you from sin, forgiving you for it, reconciling you to God as a result. A genuine confession and acceptance of this from the heart, declared by mouth and action through willful submission to the Lordship of Christ is your helmet and it is a robust foundation even if you fall from time to time. As the parable of the prodigal son exemplified, distancing yourself from God by indulging in sin doesn't change your status as his child, it doesn't take away your salvation as evil tries to convince you it has. Therefore, park the bus with the helmet of salvation and be confident in God completing the work he started in you regardless of the Devil saying otherwise.

The crux of our spirituality is our hearts, and so they need a lot of protection. Think of the heart as a computer, a reservoir of data. Think of media, books, people like friends, family being flash disks. It''s hard to think of someone as a flash disk but kindly, work with me here!!! Sometimes flash disks have viruses, sometimes books, media, people carry with them virus-like philosophies, themes, convictions, like bitterness, hatred, profanity, and the like, once they plug in into your heart, in with the bad stuff making your heart corrupt, bitter, perverse.  A corrupt, bitter,  perverse, unforgiving heart will spew out corruption, hatred, vengeance, bitterness and perversion in thoughts and actions. The breastplate of righteousness parks the bus by choosing to do right regularly and  doing right with the help of the Holy Spirit. This may mean limiting contact or access with some people, TV programs, songs e.tc. It may also mean just doing righteous acts- offering help to someone, refusing a kick-back, or a one-night stand, giving to the poor, volunteering at a children's home. Since an action is immanent, meaning as much as you do it externally, it kind of stays with you, and remains internally as a memory. That memory of the action of good, of right is stored withing your heart, the more righteous things you do and choose, the more it is in your heart, the less space for evil and it also enhances your capacity to chose to do righteousness even amidst heavy opposition in the future.

The belt of truth, God's word, God's promises, give you the stability to stand firm amidst shaking principles, relativism and fluctuating emotions, or feelings, especially fluctuating feelings. Our feelings  sometimes get the better of us, and out of hurt, anger, jealousy, envy, lust, we end up doing things we later regret. When we park the bus basing our confidence on truth, we are able to demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself against the knowledge of God(2 Corinthians 10:5) We are able to prevent evil from swaying us with lies, because of the truth of God's assurances to us.

The shield of faith is our defense against his lies, and works with the belt of truth. An unwavering belief that God is able to do what he promised, a belief in the things he has promised for you, like a job opportunity, a spouse,a house will prevent you from falling to the evil arrows of lies thrown by the evil one, telling you that the only to get these blessings is by compromise.

The sword of the spirit, may be used for attack, but it is also handy in defending when fending off thrusts from the evil. God's word is strong, living and active, (Hebrews 4:12) coming to life at the exact moment you're in need of it when facing doubt and is useful for every good work(2 Timothy 3:16-17). It is the sure and trusted weapon of defense so read, it, meditate on it, memorize it and the devil will just keep firing blanks because of the impenetrable wall of defense based on God's word.

At the bottom, we have feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. What better defense from being consumed by this world than by being eager and rushing to share this gospel of peace. One rushing to advance God's kingdom and usher in eternity will be able to withstand the devil's desire to preoccupy his mind with just living for the here and now.

Last but definitely not least of all, occasions. pray. Pray thanking him for the good. Pray when you need help, Pray for wisdom, pray for courage, pray for healing, pray for self-control.Pray when you're sick. pray when you're healed. Pray for a friends salvation. Pray for more people to know Christ. Pray for God's grace and mercy to bounce off you to others when you're struggling to love them as Christ loved you. Pray even when the cancer doesn't get healed. Pray even when the previous prayers aren't been answered to your liking. Pray for someone who hasn't forgiven you. Pray for those who ill-treat you  Prayer is not just praying to get things, it is pouring your heart to God and when you speak to him, he speaks back, not always as you would like but he speaks back all the same, and that's important, because you need his word and you also need his peace which besides transcending understanding, makes it incredibly difficult for evil to shake your confidence in |God.

Barcelona. complained of anti-football tactics, pundits say Mourinho ruins the game as a spectacle with these negative football.the bottom line is that Inter won on aggregate, the bottom line is that we win our fight against the devil and the other principalities  even if it means parking the bus at times and in doing it and looking boring to the outside world because our treasure is our faith, and it must be guarded at all costs from the thief.

CAT-ECHISM

Photo Credit: www.esarcasm.com

Experience has always been known to be a good teacher, nature, in my opinion, makes a worthwhile substitute. Ants teach us hard work, dogs teach us about loyalty, eagles teach us about the painful yet necessary cost of renewal, then there's my dear cat, Mystique. Mystique has been an integral part of the Minishi household since as far as I can remember, which is 2003. That would make her around 13 years old at the very least, she is a teenager, perhaps this could explain why these days she just starts howling spontaneously craving for attention.

Mystique was not named after the shape-shifting X-men character, if she did possess shape-shifting powers, me and brother would be in serious trouble. I shudder to think what retribution she would serve us for the way, shall we say, 'mishandled' her in the past. She is Mystique, because she is a mysterious cat whose whereabouts before the Minishi household shall forever be shrouded in mystery. Mysterious she may be, but in all those years she has been with us, I have drawn some vital lessons from my life with Jesus just by observing the life of our 4-legged family member.

As scarcely believable as it sounds, it's true. Matter of fact, here are 5 lessons my cat has taught me about my walk with God;


1. Food is a big deal

Our beloved cat is very particular when it comes to food. She likes Whiskas or Go Cat cereal in meat flavors like rabbit, beef, veal, chicken. She likes cat jelly like FELIX- Purina as well. In spite of the pack or can containing chunks of cat food with the jelly, she opts to slurp up the jelly and leave us with chunks of jelly because she is a kind-hearted soul who loves to share her food.

She loves lungs, yes you heard me lungs,  they are her favorite and mean that  I have to go to Kawangware every once in a while to buy them for her from the Butchers who sell matumbo. Try feed her cereal with a vegetable flavor or fish flavor, omena, ugali, chapati, bread and she will give you that cold icy stare of  "seriously, seriously, chapati, seriously, smh." Before, she  sashays  away thinking how her human masters just wasted 10 seconds of her precious cat life.

When she does get her food, she is not the kind to chomp it down in a minute, unless it's lungs or she's ravenously hungry; she normally eats in installments.

Mystique taught me that my spiritual food is a big deal. I should dig in with relish the same way she does, not just the 1 spiritual, happy meal of Sunday, but in installments, day by day, a chapter of scripture in addition to my Daily Bread devotional.

I'm also allowed to be choosy. I'm not compelled to consume whatever the media or contemporary culture feeds me in terms of fads. I must chose my music, movies, television viewing, philosophies, not everything I see is palatable for my spirit. Brazenly, I slurp the soup in music or movies I consider not bad which are mostly animation flicks and then leave out chunks which everyone sees as the main meal like Game of Thrones for example.


2. The door will be opened

Our cat will sit close to a door intently fixing her gaze on the door knob. This is not to say our cat wields extra-ordinary tele-kinetic powers but she trusts that the door will be opened for her. She has an unwavering conviction that simpleton Ken will notice her desperate telepathic pleas for the door to be opened and I will very much oblige.

At times she may let out a cry or a whimper, but rarely. she has taught me that I have to possess a similar, unwavering trust in God to open doors. I need to be still and in due time, he will open the door of a job, open the door of a healing, open the door of a relationship amongst other doors.



3. Some people will think you've lost it

Mystique has the curious habit of 'being in the moment' at times. Unfortunately for us, there is no preview to this state of being, it just happens.

During this period, our cat loses all sense of dignified calmness and scampers across the room like a lunatic.

Her dilated pupils, coupled with the intense look in her eyes paint the picture of a deranged cat. She looks left, dashes to the corner. Takes a breather, scurries off to the opposite side of the room, as the sound of her claws scratching across the wooden floor punctuate the air. Sometimes she tries to catch her tail, attempting in vain to bite it. One would be forgiven for thinking that our cat has lost the plot. Sometimes I think it to be the case, but for the most part, I realize Mystique is just being Mystique and she's not crazy regardless of what people think.

People might think me a fool/lunatic for believing in a God I can't see. People may find me weird or crazy for opting not to compromise on my integrity because I'm trying to practice what Jesus said and did. People may see me as insane for choosing not to follow the crowd. I know who I am, I'm not crazy, my identity is in Christ, not in my looks,  possessions or a job. I'm not insane, it's just that my love for Jesus makes me do things which appear insane to an unbelieving world and I get it. I will just keep on, no matter what people think, I'll be in the moment.


4. Cool, calm and collected

Mystique is generally calm under pressure. Well, that's if pressure isn't a another cat(no matter the size) entering her territory or the sound of a water tank pumping water, or when she is hungry, on those occasions she is definitely not calm. Usually, she just has the knack of taking things casually, purring heavily, as she curls herself up on her bed.

The electricity bill is not paid, our water tank is running on empty, the gas is about to finish. Mystique won't care one bit. You will find her just frolicking in the sun or lazing in bed the whole day. She will make you wonder whether having a conscience and the ability to think rationally is way overrated. Looking at her sleep the whole day can have you wishing God made you a cat.

This penchant for staying cool, calm and collected isn't just the preserve of our cat. As a Christian, possessing God's holy Spirit, and committing things to him in prayer, a far greater peace is within my grasp. Colossians 3;15 cites that as members of one body we were called to peace. Christ give us peace that transcends human understanding when we pray to him, focusing not to be anxious about anything, but offering our requests and petitions to him, with thanksgiving.

It's a peace that gives problems a cold shoulder. A peace that doesn't have us running scared or panicky when a job doesn't seem in sight, marriage and life with children looks a far way off or financial stability is just but a distant dream and just getting by is the norm. It's a peace so strong that it is comfortable not placing security in money, a career, a prized possession but is comfortable because of placing one's trust in Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.(Hebrews 12:2)

"Be still and know that I am God."(Psalms 46:10) You can argue that it's easier said than done, but when the storms of life rage around us, and you know Jesus is in the business of calming storms not necessarily removing them from your life, it's definitely possible to be cool, calm and collected.

5.  I am prone to forget

Ripley's believe it not, take a bow, Mystique has just served us something special.

The setting was the kitchen. Ivan the terrible(I will bestow on the mouse/rat a name befitting for the misery it caused us) was finally reeling from the effects of consuming the rat-poison tablets. Ivan lay still on the floor, in almost plain sight, the poison had ravaged his body so he couldn't escape at will like he did so many times in the past. He was breathing heavily, gasping for air, counting down the days or hours to his demise.

As he lay helpless on the floor, rather curiously, the disdain I had for the pest disappeared. In it's place was pity, pity that Ivan had to depart from this world in such an undignified manner. Feeling woiyee for the rat, and not having the guts to put him out of his misery, I did what only any sane human being would do; I summoned Mystique, the undertaker, to carry out the execution.

Since I have never been a fan of horror flicks, I was naturally apprehensive about the blood spilling that was sure to follow. I tried to contemplate what would be Mystique's method of choice, would it be strangulation? Would she slowly torture Ivan  to death or would she give him one of those fatal feline jabs like those ones Simba gave Scar(Scar, that's what you get for killing Mufasa). As our cat sauntered into the kitchen after I coaxed it out of it's sleep, you could feel the tension, the room was on a knife's edge as I looked on waiting for it all to unravel.

Then Mystique did the unthinkable. After I directed her to Ivan( she didn't even pick up his scent, smh), she took one glance at the rat, a sniff at him, and then casually walked out of the kitchen to bask in the sun to my utter bemusement.

Dear friends, was Tom and Jerry a sham? Were we so gullible as kids as to believe the lies we were fed by Cartoon Network? Seriously,  when did cats lose interest in rats or mice? Maybe Garfield is based on a true story? There has to be a reason for this!!! Maybe, just maybe, Mystique possesses a conscience so clear that killing  Ivan in the state he was in was sinking to the lowest of lows.  It seemed to her downright pathetic. Perhaps, she strongly believed in a code of honor, ascribing to it so passionately that violating that code for a cheap meal was nothing short of distasteful.

However,  my imagination is large, sometimes larger than life itself. In formulating these far-fetched explanations, I seem to be running away from the obvious truth. Mystique has lost her cat-ness. She has lost her identity as a cat, which is to hunt, stalk and kill vermin. She has forgotten her intrinsic predatory, feline instinct and has become a cultured cat, in dire need of refresher courses on how to be a cat. Although she may bare semblance of a cat; whiskers, paws, tails and all, she doesn't behave like one.

Mystique is not alone in this. Many times I forget my identity as a child of God, heir of God, co-heir with Christ.(Romans 8:17). I forget I have been forgiven of my sin of seeking to be independent from God or my occasional wrong-doing. Instead I opt to wallow in shame and regret over my sin of lust, stalking someone on social media, my lying. I beat myself up for my past mistakes,my failed relationships, my words of hurt to others not realizing my identity as a forgiven child of God for those many mistakes.

Like Mystique, I may look like a child of God, praying, reading God's word, having fellowship with other believers but I may  forget my Christ-ness. I may forget my Christ-ness which is firmly entrenched on the solid foundation of Christ's love, grace and mercy for me, which was made very apparent on the Cross, when he shed his blood for me, eager to reconcile me to his father.

He bridged the gap that my sinful nature and sin had created between me and God, which no amount of righteous living could ever hope to fill by offering himself as a mediator between me and God. I forget because of what Jesus did, God sees Christ in me, perfect and  sinless because with Jesus my sin is cancelled. He doesn't see me as the guy who just lusted at a lady, who has entertained bondage, domination masochism fantasies in his head, who has been pharisaical, cynical towards the growth in other believers' lives but he sees me as his child whom he still loves in spite of his mistakes, his sins and is making him into the likeness of his son day by day.

Like Mystique, I can become cultured. I can tend to focus on building my career, making investments, living just for the here and now and forget I have a God-given calling to love God, to live for him, to live with eternity in mind, to witness his grace, his love and share the gospel. I lose my Christ-ness when I focus on building my own kingdom rather than God's, sashaying away from reaching out to unbelievers, shying away from telling others about Jesus, opting to live the easy life of a job, marriage, kids and retirement.

Yet, despite all this, Jesus is still patient with me, Jesus still graciously gives me job opportunities, health and second chances galore to live for him and his will, to serve him and others by using my spiritual gifts and abilities. I need to get refresher courses of my identity, which the Holy Spirit does a splendid job of teaching. In applying John 14:26, He reminds me of what Jesus said to me through stirring sermons or talks, his word, songs, movies and rebukes from family and friends to get me back on track.

There are plenty of lessons to learn along the way when it comes to this walk of faith. I am thankful to God for showing me some of them through our cat. No-doubt he will show me plenty more through his word, through people, through life and circumstances. For now, like the  student I am, I will learn and hopefully apply these lessons to grow and succeed in my walk with him. Thanks Mystique, class dismissed since you can say the word yourself our dear cat.

A case of mistaken Identity

Image credit : www.masoncontractors.org

For the umpteenth time I have been mistaken for a supermarket attendant manning an isle. It's no longer even funny. It's a disturbing trend that should stop. In my attempts to look dapper, but not too dapper lest I appear on Fashion Watch because I don't desire too much attention, my ensemble has mistakenly being viewed as 'supermarket uniform'. Why people see me in a sweater, shirt and tie, looking at a row of items and conclude that I work there is beyond me? Maybe I should drop the whole tie, shirt and sweater thing, and carry a trolley for good measure.

Away from my supermarket chronicles, with even more regularity, the Christian faith has been mistaken for something it's not, a religion, when it is in fact, a relationship with Christ. Christianity, not a religion you say? I know, I know....it sounds preposterous, but let me try my best to explain.

You see, like so many, I had that view of the Christian faith, as a religion. I didn't outright label it as a religion but it was evident in my outlook and my behavior. When I gave my life to Jesus as a teenager, my main reason for doing so was for fear of spending my eternity in hell.

I watched the play, "Heaven's gates, hell's flames, and I just didn't like the thought of spending eternity in an inferno with the Devil, so I got 'saved'. I honestly couldn't grasp the gravity of my decision at the time. I just feared hell, so I chose the better option( not Safaricom, but life with Jesus).

Before I reached a point of discovering Christianity as a relationship with Christ, I made the honest mistake of viewing it as a religion. I was a young believer. A kid. I thought that Christianity was about keeping a balanced score-card with God, so for every lie I told, I needed to drop a coin in a beggar's bowl, I needed to pray,  I needed to read the bible, I needed to faithfully give offering. My righteous acts were my security or down payment to God, in exchange for consolidating my place in Heaven.

Moreover, I viewed my righteous acts as the basis for feeling entitled to God's blessings of success, prosperity, finances, good health, a girl-friend. When I didn't get them, I whined and complained that God was unfair. When I did get them, I felt God owed me more.  My Christian faith was purely about going to church, seeing what right I could do to earn God's favor.

Then, gradually, as I grew in the faith, it all unraveled, rather dramatically I may add. When God purposes to make you his, he makes you his, but he does it in his way that just leaves you awestruck at the change he can produce in an individual, even yourself.

That's God's love. He loves us too much to leave us just as we are so as I continued to follow him, he continued to change me; my altitude, my thoughts, my mentality, my heart. I guess the first part was realizing how much he loved me.

It began with the sermons on love, that slowly become embedded in my mind. Thereafter was the visual illustration of that love, cue in, Passion of the Christ and the John 3:16/Train video which you can check out through this link click here

However God wasn't finished there. Then came the big one. The experience. While I was in campus, I got insanely attracted to a lady, let me clarify what insanely attracted to a lady..is. By insanely attracted, I mean when I saw her time seemed to stand still for a fraction of a second, when she smiled at me and said hi, right there and then, just that one moment made the whole day perfect.

For the longest time I struggled to understand why her? Sure she was pretty, light and voluptuous at that, smart, witty....but there were other ladies like her, so why her? Why did my heart go gaga for her? When recently I stumbled upon the story of Samson and his first wife in Judges 14, in particular verse 4, it hit me, perhaps God was scripting this love story with a greater purpose in mind and as you will see from this subsequent explanation, it's easy to see why.

I tried a poem, I tried chocolates, I tried surprising her with a bouquet of flowers on Valentines Day. I tried compliments,  showing her I care through texts, whether it was her birthday, or she was due to defend her project but to no avail. My attempts hit a brick wall, or as we would say when I was bush, ' Niligonga Ukuta!!'

Worse, that she would never call or text. It was frustrating. Being consigned to that zone, the friendz...., it hurts just writing about that forsaken place. I took solace in some Rock/Pop songs like Franz Ferdinand's- No You girls. Katy Perry's-Wide Awake, Bruno Mars and Cee lo Greene's-The Other side and the feeling's- love it when you call, which, dominated my playlist. With it, they gave me untold bitterness and resentment towards the lady in question.

All the while, God was still working behind the scenes. A convicting Sunday Sermon about getting rid of all malice and bitterness(Ephesians 4:31) had me deleting the above songs from my playlist. Perhaps this was to marinade my heart in preparation of the barbecue of God's scorching love which would follow soon after.

True to form, soon after,  I watched the movie, Fireproof and In main character Caleb, found someone I could relate to. Like him, I was trying to show my affection for a lady and like him my attempt to show my affection hit a brick wall. Like him, the lady in the question just so happens to also be called Catherine, coincidence? I think not!

One day, upon having my Quiet Time in the morning, I realized what Caleb went through in the scene as he talks to his father was the story of my life, click here to view the Fireproof scene.

I realized that God relentlessly pursued me in love in spite of me rejecting him, ignoring him and taking him for granted. Like Caleb, that realization brought my knees, because it became crystal clear that God loves me a lot and I could only respond in tears, saying 'Thank you' amidst the sobs.

From that point on, My faith became a response to that love. Jesus gave his life for me, I give mine back to him in return. Sharing Notes on Facebook about God was my thanks to him. Giving that tithe, whether it was 10 from 100, 20 from 200, 350 from sh 3500 was out of love just showing my appreciation for all he had done for me. What does a God loving a man and a man doing things to love in him return spell? R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P, that's what.

A mother does not wake up at 2 am in the morning, to tend to her baby because it is stipulated. " that when baby cries, thou must cease all things sleep and take care of baby." Neither is it stipulated in the book of matrimony, "thou husband will make breakfast and serve breakfast to bae when she is in bed." Both instances aren't obligations, both mother and husband do such loving acts because they are in a relationship and wouldn't have it any other way.

The mistaken belief is that  the Christian faith is just about religiously sticking to a list of do's and dont's lest your place in heaven goes to the dogs. Sometimes Christians themselves can ascribe to this belief, and their life with Christ is just one of going through the motions, just serving God in the choir, or as an usher, because it's what church expects them to do. Sometimes attending church is just an obligation for some, it resembles more of an appointment with the Dentist, act all nice and promise to follow his advice to keep off sweets, then upon leaving his clinic, sugar rush pap. The Christian goes to Church on Sunday, sings the songs to appear religious, promises to repent then scurries off after the service to do the exact opposite of repent till the next Sunday appointment.

The Christian faith is not about what doing what the Church says, nor doing what the Pastor says,nor is it about doing things so that other people see that you're spiritual;  it's about responding in love to a loving God dying on the cross as an atonement for your sin to reconcile you to God.

People do all manner of things in the name of love, or being in a relationship. The Christian faith isn't any different. As relationships are based largely on honor and  trust, so is a Christian's relationship with Christ, which will reflect how he/she responds to God's love.

Fat pay-check, fame, success, yet he leaves it all behind because he feels called to help the less fortunate in Africa and be a living vessel reflecting God's love for the downtrodden, who honors God by caring for the plight of the less fortunate. That's a Christian responding to God's love not the church.

Or perhaps take a Christian, who decides not to bet, because his relationship with Christ, based on trust, has him trusting that God will provide money for him in other ways than gambling.

Maybe, it's a Christian who chose not to sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry, striving to honor God with her body  as her way of saying thank you  to Christ dying for her. She trusts him to wait and while feeling the need to work on herself in preparation for when God gives her a man, because the relationship she has with Christ has proven time over that God is faithful.

I can list a host of responses in love, like me typing this long blog-post because I just want Jesus to be known. No need for that though, because ultimately , the bottom line will be that, for the christian's faith and subsequent behaviour , a relationship with Christ is the motivating factor. The focus is a love relationship between God and the Christian.

 As I said earlier, people do all manner of things in the name of love, or being in a relationship, Christians are no exception and that is Christianity for you, not religion, but men and women who realize God loves them and respond to that love as a result of their relationship with God.