Insane and loving it

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I just love auditions. Pop idol, Tusker Project Fame, you name it; they always make for such compelling viewing. Thousands throng the auditions venue only to leave in disappointment, some more destined than others. Take for example, the British guy who had a global audience in stitches with his stuttering rendition of Halleluja or the lady who made a stab at singing killing me softly in Pop idol South Africa, but ended up killing us softly with her performance. Their auditions, along with a host of others have had us sprawling on the ground with laughter. It’s a wonder how they convinced themselves to go for the auditions but the simple reason is that they had a dream, a compelling one, so did I.

I once harboured dreams of playing professional football for Manchester United. I could vividly imagine myself, donning the iconic, red and white United home strip, the no 7 on the back of my jersey with my surname, Minishi, just above it. I could imagine strutting onto the lush green grass of Old Trafford, as the 70,000 plus crowd ushered both sets of teams into the Theatre of dreams.

I saw myself haring up and down the right flank, tormenting fullback after fullback like Riyad Mahrez does every so often. I imagined embarking on a mazy run like Ryan Giggs and scoring just like he did against Arsenal, but in the dying moments of a premier league title decider. In celebration, I would wheel away in delight to the corner flag, my fingers pointed upwards in reverence to the Almighty as the stadium erupted in  delight. Scores of fans in Kenya would switch allegiance from Arsenal to Manutd on the back of that win, mesmerized by my antics, simply unable to oppose their own countryman by being United haters.

Life would have none of it though, and I ended up pursuing a degree in hospitality management at Strathmore University and even if there are late bloomers like Luca Toni, my dream has little chance of materializing. God, being a gracious God of second chances, gave me another opportunity and my football dream took a different trajectory as it has now been almost 1 year playing for Nairobi Baptist Church Bethel B in the Left foot sports amateur league, division 2. A number of lessons have been learnt along the way.

Within the confines of your living room, it’s easy to stare at your screen and blast Theo Walcott, Antonio Valencia, Raheem Sterling for not taking on defenders with their pace. “ Si they just run at them, they have speed.”I would think to myself. I have come to learn that one does not simply zoom past players with joy abandon. One does not just spontaneously acquire the energy of N’Golo Kante and race up and down the pitch with ease, it takes time and effort, a lot of effort I may add and this is how I discovered a program called Insanity.

Insanity is a work-out program by renowned fitness trainer, Shaun T. The program’s name is not there by chance, but by design, it’s insane, really insane.  A toned body, prior exercise regime count for little in this work out as I came to discover the hard way.

Insanity, like any good work-out does, starts with a warm-up. Believe me when I say there is no shame in getting exhausted at the warm up. There really isn’t. Shaun T gets you up and about in no time with jumping jacks, high knees, butt kickers, lateral hops, suicides and the warm up will have you gasping for breath as if you ran the whole distance of a marathon a few minutes earlier. Thereafter the madness begins. Paul talks of a battle between the spirit and the flesh, as you do insanity it will be an all-out war. Your heart wants to go on, to tough it out, in your mind you tell yourself, “You can do it! You got this!”. The body is of a contrary opinion, nay, he is adamant that you are a deluded and terribly misguided individual who needs to be rebuked ever so sternly.

The body has ways of talking. Very persuasive ways. Sweat will exit your body in droves as you continue burning the calories till your body will defiantly hold its ground. Your calves and thighs will groan loudly as you lower your body for yet another squat or a lunge. Your shoulders will moan as you attempt another push up. Your core will cry out as you attempt another set of mountain climbers. Eventually it will say enough is enough. In as much as jumping and doing push ups is second nature to you, your body will be struck with temporary paralysis when Shaun T urges you to do another burpee. Matter of fact, his rallying cries of ‘c’mon push! Dig deep” will fall on deaf ears look at him with a mixture of reluctance and sheer disbelief that he is still pushing you.

In time, a romance will develop between you and the floor. Call it love as first, as you are bedazzled by the floor's attractive appearance that beckons you to take a longer look, your fatigued muscles urge you to make a move and so you sit down to initiate a conversation. Shaun T won’t have you resting for ages during his work out and in a matter of seconds you will be on your feet or shoulders valiantly attempting to do that burpee set or insanely tough v-push up. Somewhere down the line, the floor will whisper sweet-nothings to you and in a desperate attempt to hear them you find yourself lying prostrate in a lasting embrace. Such comfort!!! The feeling is so mutual. Where you have been my whole life? The push ups can wait till tomorrow, this floor is the real deal!

All good things must come to an end eventually, and much to your relief Shaun T says goodbye as your stare/sit motionless at the screen in your sweat-drenched T-Shirt struggling to understand how you are still alive? That’s insanity for you. Back home, you will look at yourself in the mirror and comfort yourself that at least 'ka-six pack kanatokelezea'. You feel the back of your thighs and tell them that they are one-step closer to becoming like those of Aguero. How many steps you will need is irrelevant, focus on the positives.

The morning after next, the soreness in your muscles all over your body will render it impossible to move normally or even move at all. At this juncture you ask yourself that proverbial question; to go for training or not go for training? Being the insane person you are, you will answer yourself in the affirmative and once more torment your body to another session of Shaun T’s insanity. You do the hard work and the pain over and over expecting that this time things will be different, that this time you will give the floor the silent treatment and last the distance.

Isn’t that what insanity is? Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.  To the outside eye, it is downright crazy. Why persist in doing something only to result in futility and despair countless times over? Why work so hard, sacrifice so much when the dividends are so far in sight or are barely visible at all? These questions are answered deep within the heart of the insane individual with faith being the epicentre of it all.

It is faith in the existence of a loving God who loved the world so much to send his only son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. It is faith expressed by believing that I can do nothing to save myself from my sin but the conviction that I don’t have to because Jesus did it for me through his death and resurrection. By believing and confessing this, I get his free gift of salvation that gives me a clean slate from my sins. It is a faith that believes I am then right with God and God gives me the right to become his child, all of which I could never earn by doing good works but instead it was all freely given to me because God loved me so much.

In gratitude to being forgiven and becoming a child of God, I willingly accept to give my time, abilities, talents even football in trying to show the world how big Jesus is and how my life has been made all the better with him being in it. My insanity is rooted in the foundation that faithful persistence to a divine cause, even if it will involve Shaun T in the mix, will be rewarded by a faithful God.

Insanity of this kind, stands firm in the belief that Jesus is trustworthy, Jesus is faithful, Jesus is my strength ,Jesus knows everything, Jesus is loving and wants what’s best for me. As a result, when through prayer, the bible, through the church, circumstances, Jesus tells me to do something insane with the benefits not being seen immediately; I do it believing that Jesus plan for me is good.

Insanity isn’t just doing what Shaun T says to get fit for the football season so that you can play well and bring glory to God with your talent, insanity manifests differently. Insanity is choosing to constantly hold onto to the bible, believing its truth to be absolute, permeating all spheres of life even in the face of ridicule and scorn from men and women who believe that truth changes with the times and the bible is irrelevant.

Insanity may thus mean a relentless pursuit of integrity and righteousness even if all around people are making gains through bribes, cutting deals, cheating while you mark-time because of your honorable desire.

Insanity may mean believing that God has a specific purpose for you to achieve and so you may be forced not to live the carbon copy lives of others of getting a job, getting married and dying. Insanity may mean becoming an entrepreneur and persisting in that belief even when your business keeps hitting a dead end, whilst friends get cars, houses etc.

Insanity may mean saying no to the overtures of the corporate world as your heart is not in it and you don’t want to live your life just going through the motions. Instead you desire to empower the less fortunate, the orphans, the widows, the disabled, demanding justice for those raped, being a voice for the boy-child, the girl child.  Even when the pay is minimal, you persist because you believe Jesus telling you to be an agent of empowerment and justice and that desire refuses to go away. Insanity may mean choosing a job in service like teaching, rehabilitating street children, nursing in old-people’s homes because you believe it so strongly in your heart and that you are the only one who can.

Insanity may mean constantly having to say no to your sexual desires, constantly having to refuse sex or a purely physical relationship, it may mean declining the advances of a beautiful or voluptuous lady or a handsome, well built-man, that has the cash to boot and is willing to lavish you with things you have always dreamed of, but saying no believing that they are not who God would want for you. Insanity is believing that God has someone else in mind, maybe less attractive, less wealthy but who complements you, brings out the best in you and will love you for who you are.

Like Shaun T’s workout, you will have to push, you will have to dig deep to remain insane. The pressure to conform to sanity and ignore Jesus will be immense. Thankfully Jesus is your strength, Jesus grace is sufficient for you even in your weakness; Jesus is always with you promising never to leave you. You can thus remain insane and love it because as a child of God, friend to Jesus, he is able to finish the good work in you. He is able to provide even when you don’t see where provision will come from. He is able to pick you up along with the pieces of your heart , get you up from that floor exhausted and have you pushing again. In the end, your insanity will not prove futile and you will complete the good race like Paul said, even after stumbling many times because your faithful insanity is in an even more faithful God.